An Uncertain Path to Pregnancy

I'm moving to a new blog

2007-10-01T20:44:00.001-04:00

I've decided to move on from this chapter of my life and go to a new blog. I will now be blogging at my new blog, Awaiting (and expecting) in Joyful Hope.

It's like when you get confirmed and pick a new name. :)

I really want to put my sub-infertility experiences behind me. They'll always be a part of me, but I feel like saying, "Part Two." I will keep this blog up in perpetuity in the hope that it helps another couple out there. This blog chronicles my journey from wondering what's going on, to commencement of infertility testing, all my running around, discussion on all my hopes and dreams and my disappointments, many doctors visits, many tests, discoveries that were made, and all throughout my Catholic faith is a part of this journey. If you read it from beginning to end, it evolved into a Catholic sub-infertility blog. And this blog ends with a happy series of events. That should give someone hope. I hope that my experiences help someone.

About my blog's image header

2007-09-26T22:10:00.001-04:00

In July my husband and I took a short airboat ride through a small portion of the Florida Everglades, and I took that picture. I love the way the clouds came out and the beautiful glades came out so perfect! It was a beautiful day.

I've been discharged from my RE

2007-09-25T21:22:00.000-04:00

I went to my scheduled appointment with my RE today. He wanted to see me one last time before discharging me from his care.

It went so well. I am so thankful to all of you, to God, and to Mary and all the Saints and Angels for their intercession.

I realized at today's visit that my RE's equipment is not as advanced as my Perinatologist's equipment. My RE has an old Hitachi ultrasound machine with a handle on the side that looks like you could fold it up like a suitcase. (Indeed, one time when they had me waiting in there, I checked out the machine to see how it folds.) Anyway, they zoomed in and we could see it! The little flicker of my Little One's heartbeat. How amazing and precious! Little One's heart seems to take up half his/her body!

My RE and I had a nice farewell, since I am now discharged from his care. I always had the impression that he was always genuinely happy to see me. We shook hands. With a gleam in his eye, he asked me to please stop by any time; he'd love to see me! I said good-bye to all the ladies in the office. It was a nice farewell.

Here's the picture we took:

Little One's heart is beating!!!

2007-09-21T23:05:00.000-04:00

I went to my first Perinatologist appointment today for my pregnancy.

He was genuinely happy to see me again. (I consulted him during my whole infertility testing / blood-clotting consult phase.)

I told him everything. I told him I started at 200mg of prometrium and had upped it to 400mg (at my RE's approval).

He says let's go ahead and do an ultrasound, so we did! My Little One's heart is beating!! He said everything looked absolutely beautiful and perfect!! It was so awesome to see the little heartbeat on the monitor. I was so teary-eyed with joy later in the car when I called my husband to let him know.

The Perinatologist said keep up the 400mg, since I am responding so well to it and it appears to be my proper implantation-stay-pregnant-non-spotting dosage. I see him again in 2 weeks.

I quizzed him to see what he knew about why extra progesterone worked when my own is always at the high end of the range. He said there's tons of theories, but scientists still have it unexplained.

Here's my Little One:

Childhood vaccinations

2007-09-20T21:26:00.000-04:00

Recent posts from A Thorn in the Pew and Beth, got me clicking around regarding the issue of childhood vaccinations.

According to this article linked from A Thorn in the Pew, "vaccinated boys had a 155% greater chance of having a neurological disorder like ADHD or autism than unvaccinated boys."

In 1983, the Centers for Disease Control recommended a total of 10 vaccines for children. In 2007, the CDC recommends 36, an increase of 260%.

Other stuff through that link:
Our children are also experiencing an epidemic of autoimmune disorders –Type I diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, asthma, and bowel disorders. There has been a 17-fold increase in Type I diabetes, from 1 in 7,100 children in the 1950s to 1 in 400 now. Juvenile rheumatoid arthritis afflicts 300,000 American children. Twenty-five years ago this disease was so rare that public health officials did not keep any statistics on it. There has been a 4-fold increase in asthma, and bowel disorders in children are much more common now than they were 50 years ago.

A Dr. Miller offers this alternative vaccination schedule with justification.
_________________
Update
Thanks again to A Thorn in the Pew, I've come to learn that certain vaccinations are cultured from aborted fetal tissue cell lines. As a devout Catholic, I cannot inject my children with these kinds of vaccinations; we will have to use the alternatives.

There's more here and here and here.
_________________
Update
Florida Exemption Information

Update
Ma Beck found more information on the aborted fetuses used for vaccinations at this link.

WYD SYD 2008 - 'Dare You To Move' Promo Video

2007-09-19T22:17:00.001-04:00

Awesome video on World Youth Day 2008. God bless you all.

5 week, 6 day ultrasound

2007-09-18T21:06:00.001-04:00

Thank you so much for your prayers, everybody!!!

I went to my RE appointment today. He took this ultrasound and my Little One is doing really well.

Look how much bigger Little One has gotten!!!!

My RE says everything looks great. He says he wants to see me one more time before he discharges me. Okay. I go next Tuesday again. (In the meantime I've seen my OB/GYN and she's referring me to a Perinatologist.) And he said I'm okay with my self-increased dosage of prometrium. (I increased to 400/day from 200 after that spotting scare.) He just told me to take one in the morning and one at night. I'm pleased to report that ever since my scare and 400/day since Friday, I have no more spotting today. All is really going well. I'm really feeling a lot better and relaxed about this now. Whew! I'm really feeling happy. I feel like I've found my key. I think once I have a successful appointment next week (heartbeat PLEASE!!!), I'll feel even better!!!

At 5 weeks, the Little One looks like this:

2007-09-16T00:33:00.000-04:00

Correction to my earlier post. THIS is what Little One looks like at 5 weeks gestational age, 3 weeks of development:

Isn't that just amazing??

Miscarriage Scare

2007-09-15T14:46:00.000-04:00

Last night a small amount of brown discharge came out. I got so scared. I really think I need extra progesterone. I took two of my progesterone pills (instead of one) before I went to bed hoping to push back a miscarriage. The next doctor I see is my RE on Tuesday morning. Last time I saw him, I expressed my concern whether or not my progesterone dosage is enough; I'm going to really stress that I should probably have more or in a different form.

Last time I miscarried it happened like this: I had a brown discharge one day, and the next it was coming out all red. So, you can see my concern.

So, I spent the night praying and praying. What a night for me. I prayed the rosary before going to bed. I prayed for Saint Gerard's intercession. I asked God to please, please help me.

This morning, there was hardly any brown discharge. Much, much less than yesterday. This afternoon, there is even less! (Not a sign of red.)

I happened to have my TCM appointment this morning. She took my pulse, and she says I'm still pregnant. Boy, did that make me happy again! (If you don't know, the Chinese can tell pregnancy by pulse.) She told me everything is going to be alright. She immediately gave me a Chinese Herb concoction right then and there. (She's fully aware of the progesterone I'm taking and what it does and all.) She gave me herbs for the next four days. She acupunctured just six points today.

(Side note if you want to read this: my TCM lady told me she just found out this morning that she's pregnant. I was really happy for her. I asked her if she takes herbs and all, and she said of course. She said she'd been monitoring her cycles and preparing her body by taking her own herbs. It sounds like it happened quickly for her, but she is a TCM doctor after all and she's always monitoring her own health. SO, I'm happy that we'll be sharing our pregnancies together.)

So, a bit of a scare, but I'm optimistic again. I'm going to keep taking two of these prometriums each night and then see what the RE tells me.

Please keep praying.

This just in:
H/T Megan. These are the levels of progesterone that a pregnant woman should have.

My husband and his best man are hilarious

2007-09-14T22:40:00.000-04:00

My husband's best friend and his wife are expecting their first baby (a son) in December. My husband and his friend have known each other since they were boys in school.

SO, my husband told his friend today that we are expecting a baby. They were both so happy. YAYyayYAYyayYAYyay, we get to be fathers together and our children can play with each other like we did. YAYyayYAY.

THEN, in all silliness, my husband said to his friend, if I have a daughter, maybe we can make an arranged marriage, THEN we can be fathers-in-law together and we could be related! His friend loved the idea! YAYyayYAYyayYAYyay we can be fathers-in-law together.

These guys are hilarious, I tell you.

THANK YOU!!!

2007-09-13T20:18:00.000-04:00

My husband and I are getting more and more excited each day. He told his parents today, asking for their prayers. So, our families know!!!!

I'm so touched by all of your prayers and comments to my post of yesterday. I never had that many comments before. I may not have as many comments as this woman (because I know I'm not funny like her and I was getting down and all), but I have to say, I felt so happy when I saw how many people responded to my request for prayers. May God bless each one of you and grant all of your personal intentions.

I had to tell my boss. I didn't like having to tell so soon, but I was scheduled to go to Indonesia at the end of September, and it's way too risky for me to go. It's 30 hours each way to Indonesia! And have you seen their toilets? This is the danger time, and I really need to take care of myself. Stupid trip to Indonesia...made me have to tell at work so soon. (My boss is really supportive, by the way.)

Remember when I bought those books? I gave my husband his book, My Boys Can Swim. Actually, it's more like a 92-page booklet. According to the author, it can be read in four extended trips to the john. I've already read the Introduction and First Trimester (and, no, I was not in the bathroom at the time). My husband has read the cover. Hopefully, he'll pick it up soon. Maybe I should place it by the toilet.

Meanwhile, I started reading my book, the over 500-page tome known as What to Expect When Your Expecting. So far, I've read the forward, the introduction, the first two chapters and I started reading The First Month. ahhhhh I've read FOUR fertility/infertility books in the past year, and it's so refreshing to read something different. I felt like I was stuck in the fifth grade forever and couldn't graduate.

I'm going to have to move all this to a Pregnancy Blog soon. I know very well how sensitive talking about pregnancy is to all the women that are still bearing the cross of infertility/sub-infertility. I pray and pray that your prayers will be answered soon. I thank you for all the support you've given me. Living like this for almost two years changes a woman. She never forgets what it's like to have cried and prayed so hard for something that she wants so much because she feels a void. After I move these posts to my new blog, I'll keep this one up in perpetuity, as a testament of one woman's journey to unravelling her puzzle of sub-infertility. Maybe my posts will help another woman someday. They have helped me.

And please keep praying. I hit six weeks next week, a scary time for me.

I need prayers because I have an announcement

2007-09-12T22:12:00.000-04:00

I've been holding back. I held back because I needed to tell my family first (to ask for their prayers). Now, I ask for your prayers.

Where do I begin?

Oh, yes. I begin here, a post from August 24. The reproductive endocrinologist suggested I take progesterone supplementation (even though my progesterone always tests in the healthy range (and explanation is in the earlier post)). I was to start taking it from three days past ovulation and see what happens. I was to stop at 12 days past ovulation.

So, on the 13th day past ovulation (the Tuesday after Labor Day), I decided to take a home pregnancy test. Just in case. Besides, that Tuesday morning I was leaving for my company's annual meeting in Miami and I wouldn't be back until Friday night. SO, just in case I am pregnant, I'll take a test, just in case I am, that way I can see the doctor before driving down and keep taking the progesterone.

So, I took the test.

I rubbed my eyes at first. I thought I could see a really, really faint line. I rubbed my eyes again. It's too early, I said. Maybe my eyes are all cloudy from sleep, but I could see it, the faintest, faintest line. I checked with my husband just to be sure.

I came out of the bathroom.

Me: Honey, look at this. Do you see a second line?
Him: I have to turn on the light.
He rubs his eyes and starts squinting.
Him: Is a second line supposed to mean pregnant?
Me: Yes, do you see it?
Him: It's really, really faint, but I see a second line.

I called and got a quick appointment with my reproductive endocrinologist for an hour later! He did an exam and said everything looks fine. We did bloodwork. I got the results the following day, and my hCG was 31.

I went to see my TCM lady on Saturday. She took my pulse. Yes, it's nice and lively, she said. She only acupunctured four points -- one on each ankle, the top of my head, and my forehead. She gave me some herbs "to keep the baby in." I also made a special chicken broth on Sunday.

Yesterday (at 20 days past ovulation), I had an appointment with my reproductive endocrinologist. He did bloodwork, and I got the results today. My hCG was 1106. And while there we took the below picture. This is our Little One at five weeks. Little One is the lima bean shape towards the center of the photo.

I need your prayers. I'm a little nervous about hitting the six week mark because that's the farthest I've ever made it. But this time I have progesterone (prometrium in 200mg capsules taken nightly). I've also consulted my hematologist, and since my blood-clotting disorder (Protein S Deficiency) does not affect women until the 2nd trimester, I will be put on lovenox (blood thinner) when I get to 10 weeks.

My vocation

2007-09-03T18:13:00.001-04:00

I've told this story before. It's the endearing story of me in kindergarten being asked by my teachers what I want to be when I grow up, and I replied, "I want to be a mommy." I probably looked then as I do in that picture at the left.

(Please excuse the curtains. It was the '70s, after all. Actually, they're kind of back in style, aren't they?)

At mass yesterday, we had a visiting priest. Actually, he wasn't visiting from too far -- he was visiting from the office of the diocese. He is in charge of the office of vocations. He said that with all the noise in the world, many of our young men may be called to the vocation of priesthood, but in all that noise, they don't accept that calling.

I have a calling. I've heard it for a very, very, very long time. My calling -- my vocation -- is to be a wife and mother.

It's hard sometimes to just wait for something you've always wanted. I am answering God's calling. Maybe my message went to His voicemail. (Hahahha - I'm just kidding.) I have to trust, I have to have FAITH that this will happen in His time.

I'm going to show you something. It's my report card from my final year of high school:

AP Calculus: A
AP Physics: A
College Humanities I & II: A and A (these were offered through my local community college)
College American Government I & II: A
Typing: A
Introduction to Computers: A (a real waste of a class; this was back in the DOS days)
AP French: A (c'est tres bien, n'est pas?)
Advanced English: B

Okay, so I got one B -- that's why I majored in engineering.

Here' s my report card on reaching my vocation of motherhood (to living humans): Fail

For someone that gets mostly As, getting a Fail grade isn't a good feeling. Can you all understand that?

Do you know why I earned good grades in school? It was so that I could go to college, work for a bit, and save to help buy a house for my future children. All that planning since I was in kindergarten for one goal! My husband says maybe I should not have let my entire life revolve around my vocation, but what is a mother to do? Mothering IS my vocation, and everything over the past three decades has revolved around my vocation.

Note that above I said, "to living humans." Because I am a mother -- to two souls in heaven -- but I still have the unfulfilled vocation of mothering children on the earth.

I think of those two souls from time to time. Through God's mercy, I may see them someday. (I will try my best not to trespass.)

By what manner and when will I fulfill my vocation of motherhood? Now THERE's a question to which I sometimes want the impatient answer!

I need not worry, right? Our reasons for not readily getting pregnant are unexplained. THAT means we are either (a) totally healthy, so just wait or (b) scientists haven't studied that body of research yet. It's as a medical doctor once told me -- "we only know 10% of everything that's going on."

And next time I get a positive pregnancy test, I'll be on the blood thinner to control my Protein S Deficiency.

Not too long ago down at our community swimming pool, I asked my husband,"WHERE is our child at the moment? The one that is to BE?" My husband, without missing a beat said, "He is in the MIND of GOD." That's my husband, a man of succinct sentences.

And so our future children ARE in the MIND of GOD.

I accept His vocation, however it may be.

I just get a little melancholy because my life's purpose has not been fulfilled. I have a vocation. An unfulfilled vocation at the moment. I will wait and see what happens (i.e., see how and when it happens).

And how treasured and loved our children will be!

The truth about your eggs

2007-08-30T20:39:00.000-04:00

Did you know that a woman's eggs actually begin to develop 150 days before ovulation?

I actually read this when I read the author's book, The Infertility Cure. I was happy to see that it's on her official website too. Read what really goes on here: Advanced Maternal Age and Egg Quality.

Nice Matters Award

2007-08-29T20:40:00.000-04:00

I am so honored!!! NewhouseNewjob has given me this award.

Here's what it's all about:

“This award is for those bloggers who are nice people; good blog friends and those who inspire good feelings and inspiration. Also for those who are a positive influence on our blogging world. Once you’ve been awarded please pass on to seven others whom you feel are deserving of this award”.

Okay, now I will nominate some people. Oooohhh....
Here's who have given me insight, prayer, reflection and inspiration (in no particular order):
1. Antonia
2. A Thorn in the Pew
3. Ma Beck
4. LifeHopes
5. Tracy
6. Small Treasures
7. Exspectantes

Beth - I would have nominated you, and you too, Esther, but you were already nominated. And I also want to honor my friend, TheOneliner for being there for me.

Prayers needed for two friends

2007-08-29T20:27:00.000-04:00

Prayers needed for my friend, A Thorn in the Pew, that her pregnancy continues well and doesn't end in miscarriage.

Also, prayers of peace for Maygy, for peace following a failed adoption.

Chart: The effect of age on fertility

2007-08-29T19:38:00.000-04:00

I was so fertile when we started all this a few years ago at age 35. BOY, that graph makes a sudden jump up.
Source: Management of the Infertile Woman by Helen A. Carcio and The Fertility Sourcebook by M. Sara Rosenthal

Well, this acupuncture is supposed to reverse certain underlying aging reasons. I will not be disheartened.

Blessed Mother Teresa Novena

2007-08-27T00:00:00.000-04:00

Mother Teresa was called from this world on September 5, 1997. I'm starting this novena today, for the unborn. (Can you believe it's been 10 years already?)

Father of Life,
You always defend the poor and oppressed.

In Blessed Teresa of Calcutta,
You raised up a voice for the voiceless
And a friend to the poorest of the poor, the unborn child.

She brought women away from the despair of abortion clinics
To the hope of a loving community
That cared for her and her child.

She spoke the truth to men and women of power,
Asking them how we could tell people not to kill one another
While allowing a mother to kill her own child.

Father, as we honor this humble and faithful woman,
We ask you to give us the grace
To follow her example.

May we be bold in word and generous in action
To love and serve the unborn
And to awaken our world to know, as Mother Teresa said,
That the greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion.

Fill us with love, bring us peace, and let us share your life forever.
We pray through Christ our Lord. Amen.

What Catholics dream about

2007-08-26T11:50:00.000-04:00

I had the strangest dream last night.

I was meeting Pope John Paul II in the lobby of a hotel at 6pm. I was running late because I got caught in some car crashes and a maze, and I didn't make it until 6:10pm. My husband made it there first, and he told me, "the Pope was just here." SO, I went to Hotel Reception and asked if they would connect me to the room of Pope John Paul II, and they did. SO, I picked up the house phone and waited while it rang; it rang about 10 times, and the Pope answered. (He spoke perfect English, by the way.) I said, "Father (since I wasn't sure how to address him), it's me, I'm here now." He asked if we could meet tomorrow (Friday) at 6pm instead, and that he actually sent me an email about half an hour ago asking me if that would be okay. I explained that since I was driving I hadn't checked my email, and I do not have a blackberry. Meanwhile, my husband kept trying to get my attention about something, saying, "Honey, Honey.!" So, I told Pope John Paul II to hold on, and I asked my husband, "WHAT!" And my husband said, "This is a cool Florida Gator poster over here." And I was thinking, "You interrupt me while I'm talking to THE POPE about some poster!??!" Okay, so I resumed my phone call, and told the Pope that tomorrow at 6pm would be fine and can I bring my husband with me. Pope John Paul II told me YES, and I asked if he would pray for a blessing for us that we may have children, and he said YES.

Then I woke up.

Body weight and infertility linked

2007-08-25T21:48:00.000-04:00

H/T Jennifer.

Interesting article.

An excerpt:

The eggs were damaged by high levels of fat and cholesterol, which made
diet a key factor in infertility...
The eggs of female mice, which were fed a high-fat diet that made them insulin-resistant and pre-diabetic, were harvested and grown in vitro but were unable to develop into healthy embryos.
"They were much slower to divide and grow...And the way that the cells developed was also disturbed."

Online pregnancy test

2007-08-25T21:12:00.000-04:00

H/T A thorn in the pew.

Go here, and it remotely tests you: http://www.thepregnancytester.com/

According to this test, I'm already pregnant with a boy, who'll be 10 pounds, and the father is Arnold Shwartzeneggar. (Thorn got Boss Hogg!)

Happy in a friend's news

2007-08-24T22:09:00.001-04:00

My friend, Thorn in the Pew, has an announcement!

Progesterone supplements!

2007-08-24T21:17:00.000-04:00

Just to recap, because I KNOW how hard it is to keep up, I've been through all the gambit of infertility testing, and we're both perfectly healthy (except for a blood clotting issue that'll affect me in the 2nd trimester).

I had an appointment with the RE today (nice uterus and ovaries, by the way), and he said let's try progesterone supplementation. Funny thing is, my progesterone always tests very healthy and my endometrial lining is always really good, but he says, we don't completely understand it. There are women who always test healthy, never get pregnant or miscarry, and when they start progesterone, they get pregnant. He says there are statistics and studies that support this.

So, I'll be taking it from 3dpo and see what happens.

It's been almost two years with two early miscarriages (at six weeks). SO, I think it's worth it to give it a shot. Like he told me last time, a woman's body can be producing progesterone, but the body may not be responding.

My husband kind of thought that it's unnecessary since I've tested so healthy and all. BUT given that I have a history of premenstrual spotting (which acupuncture has mostly corrected, but hasn't 100% corrected) and my history of the two m/c, you never know. Further when I consulted the FertilityCare doctor that one time, he said I should be on progesterone given the history of premenstrual spotting.

Oh, the premenstrual spotting!!! How I've thought about that and debated the progesterone issue in my mind!!! Is it endo? Is it progesterone? Is it endo? Is it progesterone?

And you know what else? Spiritually, I'm so at peace with whatever happens. I've really been feeling joyful lately. I'm going to give this progesterone three cycles, maybe? See how it goes. I'm not getting my hopes up or anything. I kinda feel that if I don't at least try it and we never have biological children, that I would always wonder if it was the progesterone all along. And going forward, I'm feeling so at peace at the moment with whatever happens in our lives.

Meanwhile, I absolutely LOVE my acupuncture appointments, so I'm definitely going to keep going! (Especially since I'm past my deductible, and my insurance pays 75% now.) Acupuncture has made everything look so much healthier! I'm telling you. I'm laying here on the bed typing with NO SOCKS on! Cold feet? Pshaw!!!!---thing of the past!

I met Billy Donovan!

2007-08-23T23:33:00.000-04:00

Hey! We went to a Gator Gathering this evening. (For you folks who don't know, it was a gathering of the alumni of the University of Florida.) Great food, by the way.

Anyway, I had the opportunity to stand in the line for an autograph from Billy Donovan, head coach of the Men's basketball team. I was thinking, "in my 5-10 seconds, what can I say? WHAT can I say?" I remembered seeing his photo as an alterboy on the official website of the Florida Gators (gatorzone.com). See, that's the photo.

So, when I got up there, I said, "Hi, Coach. I really liked that picture of you as an alter boy." And can you believe how BIG he smiled!!! I betcha no one else must have said that to him. Here's me getting an autograph from Coach Donovan. Look how he's smiling!

Please excuse my posture.

A beautiful post

2007-08-21T20:43:00.000-04:00

While I'm still trying to get over my prior post, I came across this one from Kristen. What a beautiful life. Kristen, if you're ever in South Florida, please stop by for a visit, you and your small treasures.

I encourage everyone to read it. What beautful, giving faith.

TCM appointment Saturday

2007-08-20T22:14:00.001-04:00

I went for my TCM appointment on Saturday morning. It was all good. She's starting to feel like a pregnancy should be around the corner since there's nothing major preventing us from getting pregnant and I'm regular and we're both seemingly healthy. SO she's given me herbs for my husband to take. These herbs are supposed to help increase his side of the situation -- you know, increase count and stuff. First thing he said was, "I'd rather be drinking toilet water." Yeah, I know. The stuff is rancid. There's nothing like Chinese Herbs to totally kill your taste buds. It's the worst thing ever. Actually, I've gotten used to drinking these herbs.

She has a concern for what seem like high follicular phase basal body temperatures. Yeah, I know. Well, it's CD12 and I'm down to 98.05 so that's kinda okay, but, I know, not really. I should be around 97.8 or 97.7 or so, I know. We'll see if I drop more.

So, she says my tongue is looking pinker!!!! (That indicates that my Chinese diagnosis of Blood Statis is slowly going away.) You know, for those of you keeping track, in Chinese Medicine Blood Stasis is one diagnosis of endometriosis, so that's why I feel like I must have had at least a mild case., especially since I had SOME of the symptoms.. I'll never totally know. If I had it (or if a little is still there), hopefully it's going, going, gone...?

She acupunctured various parts of my body -- for my Spleen Qi Deficiency and various kidney points. Also, she did some fertility points.

I told her that my RE is going to have me start progesterone on Friday. (I see my RE on Friday for an appointment -- another one of those lovely ultrasounds to confirm ovulation and so on and so forth.) She thought about it for a bit, and was receptive to it. "Let's see what happens... Give it a try." So, with that in mind, she did not give me any herbs for fertility. Whew!

Next time I'm in touch with her will be on CD28 or so to tell her how this cycle went.

Sonohysterogram today

2007-08-16T23:36:00.000-04:00

This was it. The last test I had left to do -- a Sonohysterogram.

The doctor said everything is absolutely clear and everything is absolutely as it should be. THAT is good news.

SO, that's it. The only thing I've come up with in all this crazy infertility testing is a blood-clotting disorder that typically doesn't affect until the 2nd trimester. Other than that, I should be getting pregnant with no problem.

Next steps: From all the ultrasounds I've had done in a few cycles and everything, he says I am clearly ovulating, and there is really, really no need for me to be on a fertility drug (like Clomid). While my progesterone keeps testing healthy (and, actually, on the high end of healthy), he says you never know...you could be producing high progesterone but your endometrium may not be responding to the progesterone. Hmmm, I never considered that. He wants me in his office next Friday (which should be 3dpo) to do some cycle monitoring and to put me on progesterone supplementation during my LP. Plus take a baby aspirin everyday.

He wants my husband to do a chromosome test, but my husband prefers to leave everything to the will of God, so I don't know if we'll ever get this test done. Besides, it is very statistically unlikely that he'd have a problem anyway. My husband's other test (the analysis) came out perfectly healthy.

On the other hand, my TCM lady says I have Spleen Qi Deficiency and Blood Stasis which we are currently correcting (since Western Medicine can't find anything).

Or this whole almost-two-year process could just have occurred because I've been getting emotional???? Or maybe God has heard my prayers and He's just going to answer them in His own time for me? Or if God is standing back from all this (not interfering and just letting free will take its course), it could just be a fluke that we don't have a baby???

I'm going to go through the motions with the progesterone and continue the TCM and see what happens. Since I am fertile-healthy, I find peace in that, and I am trying to make an effort to be absolutely trusting in God's will for me. Yesterday was the The Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary into Heaven Body and Soul , and as I sat there during Mass, I really paid attention to how absolutely trusting Mary was of what the angel Gabriel had told her and how Mary spoke with such spirit with Elizabeth! It really brought home how much I have to grow and trust. What a beautiful reading from Luke that was!

Hey, I'm feeling better! More at peace.

2007-08-14T22:33:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling better today. I've remembered to thank God all day. At 5:30pm here there's a radio station that plays the rosary and I was able to catch the last half of it -- it was so comforting. It's only been one day of my new approach to prayer and trying to accept all this and trying to be at peace with everything. It's been really good on my emotions. God bless you all who have helped me along.

On becoming more Christ-like and trusting God

2007-08-13T23:12:00.000-04:00

I went to acupuncture today. (It was originally planned for tomorrow, but I changed it to today.)

I really like my TCM lady. The first part is mostly talking before we move on to the acupuncture. We talk about what my cycle looked like and this and that.

I know she's doing all she can to help me, and she has.

She speculates that maybe my past cycle was short because I prolonged my previous cycle too long with the progesterone I had taken past the normal time frame. Could be. You never know, right? In Africa, aren't the women there regulated by the moon?? Nature kind of has a way of straightening things out.

We talked about my emotions. I don't even know how to explain our conversation. I put all my energy and hope into wanting to have children. I get tearful because I cannot hold them. I get anxious. I get bitter thinking of those that have had children after discontinuing birth control. (I know it is horrible for me to feel this way, and I want to change that. I don't feel that way, though, about those that later regretted using it.)

How do I become more Christ-like? How do I completely release it all and trust in God -- trust Him in what He has shown me that we will have children? How do I let go of the bitterness? If I were to die tonight, I'd be taking that bitterness with me, and I don't want to take that with me to my final judgement. Someday when I do die, I want to go completely free of all negativity, of all bitterness, and go to my judgement filled with love and joy for Our Father and His Son and go with hope that I can join them in the Kingdom of Heaven.

I found great peace when I read the story of Saint Gianna Baretta Molla. Also, I started reading about the life of Padre Pio and was filled with incredible joy of how beautiful God is! I think this type of reading is my answer. If I read the lives of the Saints, I can grow to be more like them and continue to understand more and more how beautiful it is to love and serve the Lord.

This all brings me back to that conversation I had with my husband a few days ago. He loves me for ME. If we have one child or ten children or none, he's perfectly happy because he has me. My husband has completely left all this to God's will.

I'm going to go through the motions with my RE. (My sonohysterogram is this Thursday, after all.) I need to make a few changes so that I can continue to grow. I need to air out some stuff that's been bugging me. Get it all out. I need to grow in love and faith. I'm going to change a few things about the way I pray -- more along the lines of "God, I look forward to receiving the children you will send to me, whenever that is. Thank you for allowing me to know that I will see them."

I Simpsonized myself!!!

2007-08-09T20:22:00.000-04:00

Check it out! I found out about it from Exspectantes.

CD1

2007-08-09T12:29:00.000-04:00

I feel really terrible. My temperatures went down for two days straight and then my next cycle started this morning.

What's really bothersome is that this past cycle was only 26 days. I really thought the acupuncture was helping me, and I've been talking about all the positives. But 26 days?!?!? Is my fertility taking a turn for the worse all of a sudden? This is really bad. A twelve day LP! I'm just feeling really dejected right now.

I know God has heard my prayers and I have a keen sense from Him that we will have children. My husband says, "just trust in what you have sensed. Trust in it. God has given that gift to you." Yes, yes, my husband is right. What a beautiful blessed man. If God has already permitted me to know that we'll have children, I don't need to cry or fret; I just need to be patient and wait.

Do other women have the sense of missing someone that doesn't exist yet? I do. I miss holding my children and kissing them on the forehead. I miss seeing them run around. As we walked by the community Tot Lot the other day, I could picture our children playing on the swings, and then the image fades. I know they will be here someday, but I would like to hold them now. It's a weird thing to miss someone that hasn't even come to be yet. Maybe this sense is stronger in me because I've been picturing them for well over thirty years and is, therefore, more reinforced.

I am thankful for everything that I have. I live in a great country and have a wonderful husband and family. I have very loving and caring parents. I shouldn't complain. I don't have any major illnesses. I've never been raped brutally in Darfur and then had a gun shot up my internal organs shattering everything. I feel sad that there are young girls who go through such atrocities. Those images really shake things back into perspective. I try to remember to pray for victims of abuse.

I just don't know how we're going to have children. Is it just going to happen? Or will it be through the use of a fertility drug? Don't know. I'll just run through the motions with my RE and see what happens.

SO, I called my TCM lady and left her a voicemail that I got my period today. AND I called my RE's office to tell them the same thing, and we scheduled the sonohysterogram for CD8, which will be next Thursday at 9am. Onward.

Update, 1:49pm: My TCM lady called me back. She's concerned that my follicular phase temperatures are too high. (That's concerned me too for a while.) She wants to see me earlier than last cycle -- CD6 -- to try to cool me down. So, I scheduled an appointment with her for next Tuesday.

My timeline

2007-08-07T19:28:00.000-04:00

I thought I'd post this here that way I can link back to it later.

My story: TTC since October 2005. Two early miscarriages around six weeks. Regular cycles. Regular ovulations. No luteal phase problems.

First round of Infertility tests November-December 2006: FSH=3.1 (ovarian reserve), LH=5.0, Progesterone, and Endometrial Lining all come out excellent. Good semen analysis.

UPDATE Feb-2007: HSG shows everything is normal. All clear.

UPDATE Apr-2007: RE says everything is fine, and his tests couldn't find anything wrong, so I am Unexplained. I've read a book on nutrition and am taking supplements where deficient. Also, I've been going to the chiropractor (after having read about a link between chiropractics and fertility). I started TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) -- herbs and acupuncture.

UPDATE April 5, 2007: Got the Recurrent Miscarriage blood panel done. The test revealed that I have a rare blood clotting disorder (Protein S deficiency) which keeps me from staying pregnant.

UPDATE May 13, 2007: According to TCM, I have Spleen Qi Deficiency, Blood Statis, with a little bit of Kidney Yang Deficiency thrown in.

UPDATE late July: Consulted a hematologist. Although Protein S deficiency doesn't normally affect until the 2nd trimester, let's put me on lovenox as soon as I get a postive HPT and see how that goes.

UPDATE August: With all this acupuncture and Chinese herbs (or it could be the extra vitamins), my cycles are healthier than ever! No more cold feet, no stomach acid, no bloating, no cramps, nice flow. :)

CONCLUSION: I have two issues: (1) Getting pregnant. (2) Staying Pregnant. (1) I'm hopeful this acupuncture will help me get pregnant. (2) The lovenox should help me stay pregnant.

NEXT PLAN: In the event I'm not pregnant this month, my RE will do a sonohysterogram on CD10 of next cycle, and then I'll discuss the next step with him which will probably be to give Clomid a try.

My chart

2007-08-06T22:39:00.001-04:00

Well, this is what my chart is doing this month. It looks nice, no?

I must say, for some reason it just seems healthier than my earlier charts. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's more stable, not too much zig-zagging, although you do see that a little. I use ovusoft. I like the little egg graphic on CD14. I think it's cute. If I get pregnant, I get a little duck graphic on my pregnant date. I want to see the little duck! I'm so ready with all my books and everything!

I went to the hematologist today

2007-08-06T22:36:00.000-04:00

Not much to report.

He looked at my other lab work and besides my protein S deficiency he says I tested positive on some other blood factor of some kind. He sent me for another blood test to check for one more thing.

We discussed again what do I do when I get that positive home pregnancy test again -- he said call him first. He reiterated that my condition doesn't normally affect until the 2nd trimester (versus my two six-weekers), but you never know. He said there's so much medicine that is still so unknown. And there's no downside to starting the blood thinner right away as soon as I get a positive hpt.

Well, we'll see what happens.

Went to RE; Mycoplasma Infection Results

2007-08-03T17:24:00.000-04:00

I went to the RE today for my CD21/7dpo luteal phase tests. He said everything looked good in there. My ovaries looked fine. Indeed that big follicle we saw last week had indeed popped.

Endometrial Lining measured 11, which he says is good. He says they have no worries if you measure more than 10, so he says 11 is just fine.

Well, at least I keep coming up healthy, right?

I got the results of my infection test. You know, I thought this would test me for a whole lot more. Turns out, this is what it tested: Mycoplasma.

Fortunately, my results show that I do NOT have mycoplasma. Yay!!

Infection with certain microorganisms, including mycoplasma, can cause infertility.

If any of you want to know about the mycoplasma infection, I found this interesting link.

Books I bought

2007-07-30T21:09:00.000-04:00

I bought some books on Amazon yesterday. (All used.) I like to be prepared for when the time comes.

Maybe when I get a positive pregnancy test, I can reward my husband with that "My boys can swim book?" Wouldn't that be funny? I could gift wrap it for him, and give it to him like that.

Okay, I hope these don't collect dust very long.

My RE appointment - Infection, sonohysterogram

2007-07-26T21:26:00.000-04:00

Yesterday afternoon I went to my RE appointment.

Background: You may recall that the last time I saw my RE was March 30, and he told me at the time that my next course of action would be clomid+progesterone. Feeling that couldn't be my solution, I did not proceed with him, and went back to my gynecologist for the recurrent m/c blood panel and so on and so forth.

OKAY, so I went to the RE.

I told him what the hematologist said this morning. In the RE's opinion, it's very experimental for me to start lovenox (blood thinner) as soon as I get a BFP, but (he says) he'll go along with it.
Then I had to endure him telling me this and that, etc. I won't get into it.

THIS is the gameplan the RE has for me:
He said we really should do more testing before moving on to trying ovarian stimulation (clomid). He told me, "let's completely rule out everything before we do something experimental." Boy, that's different than how he wanted to proceed on March 30!

He performed an ultrasound on me. I was CD12 yesterday. I had a nice follicle measuring 21 on my left ovary and another measuring 15. My right ovary had follicles all less than 10. SO, that seems to confirm the fact that I really am ovulating a nice, juicy egg every cycle. (Last time I got monitored like this, I also had a nice, juicy follicle like that on my right ovary.) So, my ovaries seem to be functioning just fine, but I understand that a person could gear up to ovulate and not or not ovulate mature eggs. I prefer to think, though, that I AM ovulating just fine. (I'm open to moving onto clomid in the future.)

He took a culture using a speculum that he is sending off to check for INFECTION. He says (and I've read) that there is a whole body of research now showing that a lot of infertility is really due to a persistent infection in the reproductive organs. I'm glad I'm having this checked.

He wants to do a sonohysterogram. I have not had that done. I've only had the hysterosalpingogram (hsg) done. He says that'll really help him look to see (with more in-depth than an hsg) to see what's going on in there.

He also said that my husband should have his chromosomes checked. He gave me a prescription for him.

I will be having the sonohysterogram next cycle between CD8-10.

He wants to check me next Friday when I'm 7dpo to check my progesterone and endometrial lining. Last time I got monitored, it was perfectly fine, but I'm okay with checking it again.

After he has the results to all of the above, THEN he'll see how we should proceed.

My hematologist appointment

2007-07-26T21:23:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I went to my long-awaited hematologist appointment.

I really like this doctor. I loved this appointment! He told me his own wife dealt with infertility because her blood levels turned up with lupus. A doctor who's dealt with infertility!

He said my Protein S levels are pretty low. He says my perinatologist did a pretty good job of testing me for stuff, but the hematologist wants to send me for just a few more blood-clotting tests, so I went to the lab after the appointment for more blood tests.

He says that I have two separate issues (and I agree with him): (1) getting pregnant, (2) staying pregnant. As soon as I get a positive pregnancy test, I need to go on lovenox (a blood thinner), so that'll fix issue #2. (So, next time I'll make it past six weeks!) (He explained that six weeks is pretty early for someone with Protein S Deficiency to miscarry, but given that my level is so low, it's possible, so let's give lovenox a try.)

Thoughts on progesterone and endometriosis

2007-07-23T20:28:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking about my situation.

I believe my problem is three-fold: (1) Advanced Maternal Age (AMA) -- the ovaries receive 1/5 the blood flow they got 20 years ago which leads me to (2) I suspect I have/had some degree of endometriosis given all the spotting and ovulation pain which seemed to last two weeks, (3) a blood-clotting disorder was identified which most researchers say does not affect until the 2nd trimester.

Looks like the TCM fixed most of the symptoms of #2 above. I think all the supplements I've been taking (like fish oil) have helped as well.

I'm hoping it did something about the #1 issue above, but I really don't know. What if that decreased blood flow is causing me to occasionally ovulate immature eggs and once in a while I pop out a really good egg? That's why I'm getting more and more convinced that it's not a bad idea for me to go on something strong like femara to mature some really good eggs.

Progesterone: I've been thinking about this a lot. Every single time my progesterone has been tested it's been at the healthy HIGH end of the range. EVEN THREE DAYS after I miscarried the first time (at six weeks) my progesterone was still registering high as if I was still pregnant! So, it cannot be the progesterone. Sure, I inadvertently did that experiment with artificial progesterone last week and it prolonged my cycle, but I don't really think that's the root problem. I think my root problem is really undiagnosed endometriosis.

Endometriosis causes premenstrual spotting. Endometriosis causes pain -- like that constant pain that I felt on my ovaries. It is VERY unusual for a woman to have ovulatory pain longer than a couple of days. Mine would last two weeks. The prostaglandins in endometrial implants trigger pain and inflammation and cause digestive disturbance. The prostaglandins are produced at the wrong time sending the wrong message.

I found the below here.

If a women is a few days pregnant then the endometriosis implants producing prostaglandin F would incorrectly signal the ovary to start a new menstrual cycle, causing the womb lining with the implanted egg to be expelled - and the consequence is an early miscarriage.

Prostaglandins also play an important role in the contractions of womb and fallopian tubes. During the normal menstrual cycle, the gentle contraction of the womb and fallopian tube aids the movement of egg and sperm to the outer third of the fallopian tube where fertilisation occurs. High concentrations of endometriosis implants may prevent fertilisation. An excess of PGF2 and PGE2 could cause contractions that are too strong and expel the egg too quickly.

If I have/had endometriosis, it would explain a lot. I had several of these symptoms, but I never had the monster cramps that most women with diagnosed endometriosis have. That's why it's not been looked at in me. I'm an oddball.

This may be a moot point anyway, because the TCM has greatly reduced those endo symptoms that I used to have. I really think that what I had was endometriosis. I think that was my #1 problem all along ahead of AMA and ahead of the blood-clotting issue.

Summary:
I hypothesize that it's primarily undiagnosed endometriosis that has prevented me from properly implanting. Since October 2005 I only have two recorded pregnancies. I believe that if I did implant, that the prostaglandins triggered by endometriosis were signalling my period to start, washing everything away. As for the two times that I made it to six weeks, it's likely that in that case the miscarriages were caused by a combination of (a) the toxic environment created by endometriosis and (b) my blood-clotting disorder.

TCM appointment on Saturday (CD8)

2007-07-23T20:09:00.001-04:00

I went to my TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) appointment on Saturday morning (which was CD8).

Lots of questions. What did your period look like? Are your feet cold? Any pain? Any bloating? Are the butterflies in your stomach still gone?

She looked at my tongue and says that it looks A LOT better, compared to when I first went to see her. I told her my feet are actually warm now. I was recently on the swings down at our community tot lot, and I never got the butterflies in my stomach. (When we bought this house in this community and I saw that tot lot, my heart melted imaging our children swinging back and forth.)

She said my pulse is wiry (stressed out), and I explained that I went back to school for my MBA and I am stressed with all the work I have to do.

She treated my spleen points, kidney points, and I don't remember if she had to do any liver points. She hit a stomach point. She stuck my fertility points -- ovaries, uterus. She said I seem to be doing really well, so she decided not to give me any herbs. She wants to see me again on CD12 to prepare me for ovulation.

I emailed a radio program

2007-07-18T21:45:00.001-04:00

Here in South Florida, we are fortunate to have a Catholic radio station on AM. In the afternoons when I am driving home from work they broadcast the daily mass followed by the rosary.

They recently changed their morning programming and now they have a show called Religion, Politics, and the Culture which I really like!!!! I emailed the host of the show that infertility is a topic not well-discussed in churches and a lot of people do not even know what is the church's position on infertility treatments or why the church has such teachings. I really hope this topic goes on the air. Maybe the dear host will even visit this blog. :)

$3,710.00

2007-07-16T21:26:00.000-04:00

THAT, my dear friends, is what it costs to get some advanced recurrent miscarriage blood work done. I just got the bill today.

You may recall that my poor arms were hurting after having blood drawn for all these:

Antithrombin III antigen activity levels
Lupus anticoagulant
Leiden mutation of Factor V
Prothrombin G20210A mutation
ANA
Anticardiolipin Ab.
Protein S Antigen activity levels (free and total)
Protein C Antigen activity levels (frozen)
Methylene tetrahydrofolate reductase (MTHFR) mutation
Free T3, T4, TSH
Blood Karyotype (chromosomes)

The most expensive one was the chromosome test for $743.

My insurance covered all but $315.02.

I remember the RE, gynecologist, and perinatologist all warning me that these tests were very expensive. That was one of the reasons why the RE didn't send me for them; he wanted me to start on some form of fertility treatment next, but two things would have happened -- either (a) it would not have worked or (b) it could have ended in an eventual miscarriage or placental abruption or delivery of a premature baby or stillbirth baby because of my blood clotting issue. I just felt so strongly to do these tests ahead of moving forward with some form of fertility assistance. And I believe it's worth it to save a life from the possibility of miscarriage.

In other news, it's CD3, and I'm feeling great!!! I'm not even bloated or anything. :)

Acupuncture

2007-07-14T21:12:00.000-04:00

My husband asked me if this is what happens during acupuncture:

CD1, Prometrium has left the room!

2007-07-14T16:52:00.000-04:00

Okay, all is well again. This prometrium has left my body, and I started my period this morning. I called my TCM Doctor and told her. She wants to see me on CD8, so I scheduled a treatment with her for next Saturday morning.

I'm not upset about it be CD1 because (a) the Chinese Herbs really made me have a nice luteal phase, (b) I saw how well prometrium can work, (c) my flow is really nice and I feel incredibly healthy. I don't quite know how to explain it. I started my period this morning and felt nothing until this morning. No bloating, nothing. Today, yes, I do feel it happening, but I think that this TCM and all these vitamins have pushed back some of the effects of the aging process on my body.

I had a talk with my husband. I explained our gameplan of what I want to do, and he is in support. I explained that since I'm going to start fertility drugs next month and in consideration of everything that I'm going to be putting into my body, if he would please take a recommended set of vitamins to increase the health of his reproductive system. AND he is so wonderful and he's taking all the vitamins that I put before him. I need all the help I can get! I'll make a post later about what vitamins a man should take for male fertility.

19 dpo - still waiting for this prometrium to leave

2007-07-13T20:51:00.000-04:00

Thanks, Christina, for the advice. Five to six days to get my period??? Well, like you say, c'est la vie. I've been wearing a pantiliner everyday waiting for my period to come. MAN this prometrium is potent. At the very least I know now that it really works!

Well, in the meantime, I'm just hanging in there. I feel great. I feel like at 7dpo. You know, like your period is a whole week away, you're a week past ovulation day so you're just feeling relaxed and all? That's how I feel. Watch this thing catch me off guard like in the line at Publix or something in one big gush.

Okay, I have to go. Homework to do. This MBA is a lot of work.

18dpo -- Making my appointments for July 25

2007-07-12T20:48:00.000-04:00

MAN, this progesterone is insanely effective. Nothing has come out. I'm not pregnant. I'm just waiting for it to leave my bloodstream so that I can get my next cycle started.

So, yesterday I was finally able to wrestle copies of my medical records from my perinatologist's office. I don't understand what is so difficult about a doctor's office making copies of a patient's medical records and letting her have the copies. I started asking last Friday. I'm going through all these blood test results and it turns out I have low plasma glucose. I had a 58 and normal is 65-99. Okay, so it's not THAT low, but it's the on the fringe of hypoglycemia, which explains why I feel so awful if I don't eat regularly.

I made my appointment with my RE for July 25 at 1:30 pm to discuss getting on a drug plan. My hematologist appointment is at 10:30 am. I went ahead and made a chiropractor appointment for 9:00 am for continued care of my neck and he may as well care for my back.

As long as I've already got three appointments for July 25, why not go for four? I haven't seen my Primary Care Physician in over two years because I feel that I already go to enough doctors (a gynecologist, a perinatologist, a reproductive endocrinologist, plus all the labs). BUT I should go and get my cholesterol tested and ask him about this low plasma glucose and other stuff, right?

My gameplan

2007-07-11T20:57:00.000-04:00

(1) I'm not pregnant. It's this stupid prometrium that's keeping my luteal phase going on indefinitely. I'm not taking it tonight, and I should start my next cycle soon. I'm going to sleep with a big pad in case it comes during the night. It was a rash decision on my part (mostly) and of the FertilityCare doctor I consulted to start the prometrium at 13dpo in case I was pregnant.

(2) I've been doing a lot of thinking about my situation. At this point I've identified my issues, there are no more tests I can possibly do, and as you know from reading this blog I went as far as having the advanced recurrent miscarriage panel done. (a) The blood clotting thing I know about now and need to control it once pregnant, so I'm glad I know about it NOW before I miscarry again. (b) All the premenstrual spotting and tail-end brown bleeding and the sticky blood during menses and all the bloating and ovulatory pain has 99% gone away via TCM and all the vitamins I've been taking (per Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition). SO, those issues are pretty much gone or under control.

(3) The FertilityCare doctor I consulted on Saturday pretty much concurred with me on the above. He agrees that it looks like I used to have issues which have somehow been corrected.

(4) In the last four months I had three blood tests on my blood clotting disorder (Protein S Deficiency). These tests are SO RARE that they take three weeks to come back. THEN it takes time to make an appointment with the doctor to go over the results because he isn't available right away. SO, all in all it's taken about four months going back and forth with all this, BUT it's been okay, too, because in the meantime I was doing TCM and taking loads of vitamins.

(5) I have an appointment with a hematologist on July 25 to go over these blood issues. (The above was all through my gynecologist and a perinatologist I consulted and they've referred me to a hematologist.)

My gameplan: I'm going to go back to my RE. I haven't seen the man since March. While the TCM has been good and has healed me, I'm 37, and I feel the need to move forward. I'll still go to acupuncture for support, but I need to get going with my RE and get on a drug plan that's going to help me achieve pregnancy and then help me stay pregnant. Even if I only did acupuncture and no drugs, I'd still need to see someone who will fight to keep me pregnant. SO, I may as well go back to my RE. THIS cycle (as soon as my period starts) will be my last drug-free cycle. I'm going to tell my TCM Doctor my plans and everything. I'm going to schedule an appointment with my RE and ask to get going next cycle with a clomid/femara + progesterone + lovenox + cycle monitoring or something like that. I'm hoping that with my body so well prepared now that the drugs will work immediately.

17dpo

2007-07-11T10:12:00.000-04:00

And my temperature this morning was 98.98. :) BUT what if it's just this prometrium keeping it up? I've called the doctor that prescribed it to me.

16dpo, Endometriosis, Progesterone

2007-07-11T00:28:00.000-04:00

I've been so busy.

I've finished my first week as an MBA student and now I'm into my second week. Another five page paper to write, more answers, a "value formula" of some kind that I don't understand yet because I haven't read the chapter. BUT, I must say, I'm enjoying it. I like learning and doing research. I genuinely do. AND it's good for me to learn stuff other than fertility stuff, you know?

I'm 16dpo today. I've NEVER had a Luteal Phase that long. Is it the Chinese Herbs (which my TCM doctor gave to me through last Friday)? Is it the progesterone that I had filled on Saturday? I did test, but it was negative, but it could be too soon, right? Meanwhile, I keep praying and praying. My temperatures are another story. I dropped at 14dpo and then shot right back up. A fluke? I don't feel like anything is happening. I don't feel anything at all, actually. If you were to ask me what day are you on, I'd say, I don't know, it feels like sometime around 7dpo, I guess. The GREAT news is absolutely NO premenstrual spotting. NONE. THAT is so key to me. Some underlying cause has definitely been corrected. THIS is totally awesome.

Tracy, you asked me what herbs I'm taking: It's Chinese Herbs prescribed by my TCM doctor. I throw the packaging out as I use them so regrettably I can't specifically tell you, but I remember that they were all liver- and kidney-related (when I googled them). RANCID stuff. She had me take them from 7dpo until 12dpo. Also, the progesterone I just started taking is Prometrium 200mg capsules, three to be taken orally each evening. He gave them to me like this because I had told him about my TCM so he thought these would be better to go along with the TCM.

Oneliner, you asked me about endometriosis. I have about five of the symptoms. OR I should say I mostly used to have five of the symptoms. (I had a pang a few days ago, so it's not 100% gone yet.) I didn't have the painful cramps like some women have, but I had five of the other endo symptoms. I'm telling you these vitamins and TCM has mostly taken care of this. It was never diagnosed. Back when I was seeing the RE, I was thinking of doing a lap, but I never did, and I agree with what you say about the lap not being worth it for me and could make things worse. THANK YOU for telling me that. It makes me feel a whole lot better / reassures me. I really, really am amazed at how much healthier my cycles have been these 3 1/2 months since I've been doing all this.

AND guess where I was at tonight!!!!! You won't guess? OK, I'll tell you. My husband and I saw The Police in concert at Dolphin Stadium. Sting sounds just like he did in the 80s. Seriously, it's as if they picked him up in 1984 and dropped him in 2007. Same hair too. They started with Message in a Bottle. (Now, the parking situation is an entirely different other matter. It was $30 for parking! A Dolphin game is $15. I thought a concert would be $10, maybe, BUT $30!!!! That's way too much for parking, and there is NO WHERE else to park. I really have it in my mind to write a letter to the editor of the local paper and to Mr. H. Wayne Huizenga expressing my displeasure. EVERYONE in the parking lot was venting about it too. Okay, enough on that.)

Peace be with all of you. I'll update when I can.

It's the herbs causing nausea and my FertilityCare teacher consult

2007-07-07T11:48:00.000-04:00

Well, I figured out that what's causing my nausea these last few days is the Chinese Herbs. I figured this out because one of the side effects of progesterone is nausea, AND these herbs I'm taking have something that does the same thing that progesterone does. My TCM Doctor calls it "keep the baby in." Anyway, still looking good. Nice temp this morning at 13dpo (to 98.65).

Also, I had a great meeting this morning with the FertilityCare teacher. I had to drive an hour away. I went as my first step to learn the Creighton method so I can get started as a patient at the Pope Paul VI Institute (where they've created NaproTechnology). BUT my meeting evolved into something so much better!!!! I told him about all the charting I've already done, and I drew one cycle for him of what it looks like (typically, pre-TCM). I put everything on that drawing -- premenstrual spotting, tail-end brown bleeding, etc., basically all your age-related type of infertility stuff. (Although the sticky blood could still be another issue, which TCM has now solved.) ANYWAY, he told me that it really sounds like I've taken control of things and I don't need to go to PPVI. I told him all about the TCM and everything and how much healthier things seem. He says, "the Chinese have been doing this for thousands of years..." Sounds to him like the Chinese Herbs have something similar to what progesterone does. I really have a combination of issues going on here. Back to the story. He said my chart shows one of my issues is progesterone (even though my RE and gynecologist said it was perfectly healthy). He gave me a prescription for progesterone, which is great because if I am pregnant now, my TCM doctor is out of the country and won't be back until next Friday (and I have no herbs to "keep the baby in"). SO, if I am pregnant now, I've got this progesterone prescription which is being filled at Walgreen's right now. (As far as my entire infertility puzzle goes, I think the progesterone is a certain percentage of it, but not the whole thing. There's the blood-clotting issue plus possible stage one endo issues and whatever causes the sticky blood. Plus my age and ovaries only receive 1/5 the blood flow when you're 35 vs. when you're in your teens.) SO, I'm glad I have the progesterone prescription. I should be getting my progesterone tested every two weeks to make sure it's up. Second issue we discussed is my blood-clotting, and he wanted to make sure I have a gameplan for that, and I do -- I see a hematologist on July 25 (which is too late if I am pregnant now). If I am pregnant now, I will need to get my way into the hematologist's office sooner.

All in all, feeling great. I plan on testing tomorrow.

A Promise Delayed

2007-07-06T19:53:00.000-04:00

Please read this beautiful article which appeared in CatholicExchange on June 10, 2007.

"When Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children,... [s]he said to Jacob, 'Give me children, or else I will die'" (Genesis 30:1).

Sometime in the middle of the 1960s, an engaged couple sat making plans for married life. They longed to hear the fabled "patter of little feet," praying it would rise to a clamor before long. The two hailed from large and loving families and were eager to fill a home of their own with new young lives.

They married on a windy day in October of 1964, with a spray of rice and squall of bells. Already, the bride, a resourceful seamstress, was mentally calculating the lengths of fabric she would need to create a quilted crib set for her first little one, wondering if she ought to cut up her gown for a Christening robe. Her head swam with favorite names for future children: Alice, Mary, Florence, Eileen, Joseph, Michael, James, John.... So many beautiful possibilities.

Read the rest here.

Still looking good (and an MBA rant)

2007-07-05T20:38:00.000-04:00

My MBA program: I logged onto my classes on Monday and downloaded the syllabi and bought the books. Here it is Thursday, and I still don't have my books. I bought them through amazon. I checked the tracking and one of them is coming from MALAYSIA. How's that supposed to get here on time? I have homework assignments due, including a five-page paper. Good thing my husband is a librarian and he got me the one book and will try to get me the other one tomorrow, which I'll use until mine are here.

Fertility: Temp still up this morning. Looking good. I called my TCM Doctor and told her my concerns about a few things. (I'll spare you the details.) She told me it sounds like I have too much heat. That's a turn-around, because I used to have "cold uterus," and (per The Infertility Cure) I've been eating lots of hot soups and avoiding anything cold and drinking water with no ice, etc. I REALLY swung that the other way. So, after work today I stopped at McDonald's and had a McFlurry. Hopefully, that'll get my heat down. The way she explained it is that I have so much heat that my body wants to explode. Like I said, I'll spare you the details.... Anyway, still feeling funny. I haven't felt like this since, well, December..... Okay, one more thing: I started feeling nauseous today -- just SLIGHTLY nauseous. I never feel like that. The only difference is that I've been taking a different formula of Chinese herbs, so could that be causing nausea or something else? In the meantime, I keep projecting an image in my mind of twins.

Random stuff

2007-07-04T22:38:00.000-04:00

I started my MBA classes this week. It's an online program. Basically, I log in and see what my assignment is. I bought my books for my class already. One of my assignments is a five-page paper due by Sunday! I have a lot to do.

My cycle feels really good so far. I need to call my TCM doctor, though, to tell her that she may need to adjust my herbal formula. My luteal phase has been really good, but there's some other stuff.

Temperatures are looking nice and high. I've been having some weird nausea sensations these past couple of days. Could be a good sign, right? On the other hand, maybe it's these Chinese herbs.

On Saturday morning, I'm going to my Creighton class. I'm really looking forward to this so I can plot out two cycles via Creighton and ship them off to the Pope Paul VI Institute.

Girl could give birth to her sister

2007-07-04T18:19:00.000-04:00

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/health/article2019286.ece

I'm posting this link because I came upon it. That's all.

This is the post where I catch up the past month

2007-06-29T21:42:00.001-04:00

This post is a long chat to catch up on what's been going on the past month.

Despite the hard work, I really did have a great time in Ireland (mostly on the two weekends that I had there).

On my first weekend in Ireland, my husband was with me and we walked all over Dublin's city center, walking in and out of churches, in and out of pubs (that was after the churches!), and watching the random street show or lone musician. What a wonderful time we had walking, then stopping to pray, then walking!

The first picture is of St. Audoen's Catholic Church. It's in the city center. It is the only remaining medieval parish church in Dublin. It is dedicated to St. Ouen, the 7th century bishop of Rouen and patron saint of Normandy. We actually walked in shortly after mass had started, so we stayed for the mass. To the right when you first walk in, was a little area dedicated to St. Anne. I was so delighted to see a little shrine within the church dedicated to St. Anne! I said a special prayer in this little area. Saint Anne is the mother of Mary, the grandmother of Jesus Christ and wife of Saint Joachim. It is believed that Anne was quite elderly when Mary was born, and Mary was their only child. Saint Anne is invoked as the Patroness of Mothers, against Sterility, for Conception Difficulties, Infertility, help for the Pregnant, Women in Labour, and Grandparents.

The second picture is of St. Augustine & St. John Catholic Church. It was built in 1874 and its steeple is the highest in the city standing over 200 feet.

The third picture is Christ Church Cathedral, founded c. 1030. This church is no longer Catholic; it is Anglican - Episcopal. There's a beautiful green grassy area in the front where locals stop to rest and read a book.

The fourth picture (below) is Saint Patrick's Cathedral, which is no longer Catholic; it is Anglican - Episcopal. Saint Patrick is said to have baptized converts from paganism to Christianity at a nearby well. A small wooden church was originally built on this site. The present structure was erected between 1200 and 1270, and it is the largest church in the country. The writer and satirist Jonathan Swift was dean here from 1713-45. The cathedral choir took part in the first performance of Handel's Messiah in 1742.

The next church we came upon during our walk was Our Lady of Dublin Catholic Church. This church is also the home of a relic of Saint Valentine. This church doesn't look like all the other churches from the outside. The structure of the church was situated amongst office buildings. Once we walked in, the church was absolutely beautiful and I felt so much at home. And how delighted I was that there was a little area where you could fill in a Special Intention for the upcoming novena to Saint Anthony of Padua (whose feast day was June 13)! So, I wrote in a Special Intention.

At this point we were really tired of walking and I was super thirsty and needed some water. Fortunately, we came upon a pub called the Hairy Lemon. I asked for a tall water, a Bailey's, and my husband got a Guiness beer. That's the Hairy Lemon in the little picture. We kept walking around. We stopped to eat. We walked through a mall. Then, we went to the Temple Bar. I had a great time at the Temple Bar. We had a few drinks and there was a quartet of musicians in the bar playing traditional Irish music. I could have stayed there all night listening to music. Later in the weekend we went to the Guiness factory for a tour, and we went to the small village of Malahide for dinner. We walked around and I took that picture of Malahide Castle from my previous post.

I enjoyed the following weekend, on my own. I returned to the Temple Bar area with a colleague (and dear friend) on Saturday night for dinner and a few drinks at a Temple Bar pub. On Sunday morning I went with another colleague (and dear friend) to mass at Saint Mary's Pro-Cathedral. That's the last picture you see here. Saint Mary's was built in 1825, and it is the mother church for the people of Ireland.

Other things:

The time zone (and sleeplessness from working until 9pm for three weeks) messed up my cycle. Oh well. I was two days early! Augggghhh! I want to be LATE, not EARLY! Oh, well. What can you do? It was beyond my control.

During my second weekend in Dublin, I went to see an acupuncturist! I really enjoy the treatments that I have been receiving from my local TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) doctor, and I really wanted to stay on that roll. So, I was able to get a treatment and receive some herbs. It was very interesting. The TCM doctor I saw did not speak English; I had to speak to him through an assistant.

I returned to the United States on Day 12 of my cycle. Just in time, right? I spoke to my TCM doctor, and she was able to see me for a treatment on Day 13. I told her about my treatment in Dublin, and she was really excited to hear about it. She asked me lots of questions, actually. I showed her the herbs that they gave me in Dublin, and she agreed that they were great. Just to finish out this paragraph, I've since returned to my TCM doctor again on Day 16; she said she wants to extra monitor me during this Luteal Phase.

No more butterflies in my stomach: Last month I commented to my TCM doctor that I get butterflies in my stomach a LOT. Maybe this is yet another thing causing my infertility, and I thought that it was worth mentioning to her. I'm ashamed to say it, but when I would think of motherhood, this rush of chemicals would just rush to my abdomen. Also, whenever I would drive and someone would cut me off, my abdomen would be instantly flooded with a rush of chemicals. In just one treatment, my TCM doctor eliminated that. I actually didn't realize it until my recent visit on CD13, when she asked me if I still felt the butterflies.

Blood test results: While in Dublin, I got a hold of my Perinatologist to inquire on the results of my THIRD test for Protein S. It was a 24. The first time it was a 24. (The second time it came back ZERO, so that's why he sent me again. The zero must have been a fluke.) So, it's confirmed that I have Protein S Deficiency. Normal range begins at 58. I asked him to recommend a Hematologist, and I have an appointment with one scheduled for July 25. If you google "Protein S" and "implantation failure," you'll find a ton of research that says that this blood clotting disorder could prevent implantation, although (the confusing thing) is that there is other research that shows that this disorder would not affect a woman until her 2nd trimester. Anyway, I'm looking forward to my July 25 appointment.

Pope Paul VI Institute: I've given the TCM three months (and I'm going to continue it), but at this point, I'm going to enroll myself as a patient at PPVI. I think it's good to do a few things concurrently. I don't have months (or years) to waste. I already spent the first year just trying naturally month after month. So, my first step with PPVI, is to get a few cycles charted via the Creighton method. I'm going to a Creighton class on July 7. Then, I'll send off two cycles of charts, all my medical records, and see what they say.

Chiropractor: I haven't posted on this in a while. I had continued to go regularly right up until my trip to Ireland. I went for a visit on Monday. You may all recall that I went because my neck was killing me (and I was further motivated when I read about the link between chiropractic treatments and fertility). My next visit is in one month.

Vitamins: I'm still taking all the vitamins and supplements per the book Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition.

MBA: You may recall from an earlier post that I had put off studying for an MBA because I thought I was getting pregnant right away. I decided (with the help of my mother and a friend) that I shouldn't keep putting things on hold in case I get pregnant. My mother told me she could help me. So, with the support of my husband, I enrolled. My classes start next week!!!

I'm back

2007-06-27T22:16:00.000-04:00

I'm back from Ireland. I actually returned late Saturday night. My trip was A LOT of work (as we were working until 9:00 at night Monday-Friday for three weeks), but it was also enjoyable. Dublin is a great place. I have a lot to tell.

The last few days I've been unpacking and, really, just trying to unwind. I took Monday off from work, but I still have the three weeks of mail sitting on the table that I need to attack. Sure, my husband processed through his mail, but these are all directed to me (although I know most of this is junk). AND I needed to stay away from the computer. I just spent three weeks in front of a computer screen until 9pm working. I had to stay away. I'm going to ask my boss if I can have Friday off. I need it.

I have a lot to tell. Places seen. Experiences had. I have blood test results to report. I saw an acupuncturist in Dublin! I'll have to write a longer post.

Until then, enjoy the picture at the top. I took that. It's Malahide Castle.

I'll be gone for three weeks

2007-06-01T22:09:00.000-04:00

Hi, everyone. My employer has a huge project going on in Dublin, Ireland, and I am part of a group of 11 that will be going over there. My husband is coming with me too for the first week.

It's going to be a lot of work, but it's going to be a lot of fun too, especially while V is there. I'd rather spend my off-time exploring Ireland, than typing on a blog. Or, who knows.... I may come back to type some travel experiences.

May God bless you all until I return.

I'm back with my blood test results

2007-05-31T20:36:00.000-04:00

I got my blood test results today.

(1) I don't have MTHFR.

(2) My chromosomes are perfect. (No, I'm not really a man. ) hahahaha

In fact, I came up healthy on EVERYTHING except this (same as last time): Protein S, free.

Normal Protein S begins at 58. Two months ago when I did the test, I had a 24. This latest test result showed I have a 0; that's RIGHT, ZERO.

However, the Perinatologist tells me that the Protein S is NOT the ANSWER to our infertility. He says we have other natural anti-coagulants in our blood to keep everything in balance (between clotting and unclotting), and obviously my body is doing that since I have never had a blood clot or stroke or anything. (But a normal and healthy human has Protein S in normal range.) He says Protein S doesn't affect pregnancies until the 2nd trimester.

I have to go to the lab tomorrow to get a re-test (my third) of my Protein S. He said depending on those results, he may just refer me to a Hemaetologist (blood doctor).

I'm thankful that I keep coming up healthy on all these tests, and I'm very thankful that I'm regular, and I'm SO thankful that my husband turned out healthy on his tests. I find comfort in the fact that I'm trying Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), because my TCM Doctor has identified issues that I do have, and she's fixing them.

The Perinatologist asked me when was the last time my husband and I took a REAL vacation. I said, we've taken time off here and there to visit family and whatever, but we haven't taken a REAL vacation since the honeymoon. He suggested we go on vacation. I don't really think my lack of vacation is the cause for me not being pregnant. Plus, I get massages regularly and I try to exercise every day. As a matter of fact, my TCM doctor told me that I always seem so mellow with no indication of stress. If you all really knew me in person, you'd see how mellow I really am, and as far as all this infertility stuff goes, I actually LIKE learning (having done it all my life) and I'm just maintaining a pro-active attitude towards it. Unfortunately (or fortunately), western medicine hasn't found anything wrong with me. On the other hand, my TCM doctor diagnosed me with several issues preventing me from pregnancy, and I've seen marked improvement in the overall health of my cycle.

Nervous about getting blood test results tomorrow

2007-05-30T21:00:00.000-04:00

I don't know why I'm nervous about tomorrow.

On April 5 I received my miscarriage panel blood test results and found out that I tested looooooow for Protein S -- thus, a blood clotting disorder. My gynecologist referred me to a Perinatologist.

On April 19 I had my appointment with that Perinatologist and he said he wanted me to get tested for MORE stuff to see if there's something else (because they just did a basic panel last time). He also wants to reconfirm those Protein S results.

I'm getting these results tomorrow:

Antithrombin III antigen activity levels
Lupus anticoagulant
Leiden mutation of Factor V
Prothrombin G20210A mutation
ANA
Anticardiolipin Ab.
Protein S Antigen activity levels (free and total)
Protein C Antigen activity levels (frozen)
Methylene tetrahydrofolate reductase (MTHFR) mutation
Free T3, T4, TSH
Blood Karyotype (chromosomes)

Why am I nervous? All this time I've been thinking, what if I have MTHFR? What if there's something really messed up about me? What's he going to tell me? But it's better to know, right? Silly me, silly me. Of course I have to know! And if there is something I can do something about it! Aaaaaggggggghhhh.

I'm going to go for a brisk walk around the neighborhood and get some exercise. You know what else? I need to pray. I need to pray for strength and that if there is something, that it'll be something very easy to correct.

Aching Arms

2007-05-29T23:00:00.000-04:00

One of my online friends, Claire, wrote this beautiful article for Catholic Exchange. God bless her. She, like many of us, desires the gift of children, and she writes beautifully on adhering to Church teaching regarding infertility in the face of some adversity. I do hope that someday her arms will no longer ache.

Spleen Qi Deficiency

2007-05-28T21:52:00.000-04:00

According to Chinese Medicine, one of my diagnoses is Spleen Qi Deficiency.

I'm going to summarize what the book, The Infertility Cure says about this.
As we age, the Spleen energies weaken along with the kidneys and precede the kidneys' decline. The first clue that the Spleen is waning is fatigue, which causes many of us to turn to caffeine, which in turn taxes our kidneys more and since the kidneys have all the extra work to do to filter the caffeine, they have no time left to spend on the reproductive system. SO, other signs are skin begins to sag, veins appear, you may get hemorrhoids, you may urinate more frequently, digestion may become more sensitive, progesterone drops off during the LP, periods may come accompanied by loose stools, and metabolism changes. Sounds like the aging process, right??? According to Traditional Chinese Medicine, the Spleen is the first thing to go.

BUT you have to understand that the Spleen in Chinese Medicine is more than just the organ that we call the spleen in Western Medicine. The Spleen is a whole system that includes points throughout your body. That's why you have spleen points in your legs, for example. It's like an electrical fence throughout your body all pointing back to your spleen. She explains in the book how all this really works. At first I was a sceptic and thought, "what kind of quack medicine is this?" BUT, you know, I find it really interesting and how accurately it explains a lot of things about me. According to TCM, I have Spleen Qi Deficiency because I have most of what I just described above. (On the other hand, my RE said I passed all his tests and was "unexplained.")

I'm getting treatment for my Spleen Qi Deficiency from my TCM doctor. She administers certain herbs to me and she puts acupuncture needles into my spleen points. By putting the needles in the spleen points, it enters the "electrical fence" of the Spleen so to speak, and it tries to fight it or, in other words, it fixes itself through this process of acupuncture. I've been going to TCM for almost two months now and have received healing from several of the symptoms I mentioned above.

Memorial Day weekend

2007-05-28T21:02:00.000-04:00

We went to the beach today in Palm Beach. The water was gorgeous!!!! So clean and clear! We could see our feet while standing in the water. The ocean was turbulent, though, and there was a strong undercurrent, so it made trying to do laps impossible. Basically, we had to keep jumping the waves and try to stay in place. I took the picture on the right. Isn't it pretty?

Then we came back and swam in our community's swimming pool and later on we went for a walk around the neighborhood. We chatted with our neighbor friends from next door.

We played golf on Saturday at the Inverrary golf course in Lauderhill. I need a lot of improvement. I did, however, bogie two holes. My husband plays a lot better than I do. He parred a few holes. On the bright side, I'm hitting the three-wood a lot better than I used to. Have to keep practicing.... That's Inverrary on the left.

In honor of Memorial Day we called my husband 's Grand Uncle Johnny who served this country proudly during World War II.

Eight things about me

2007-05-24T22:42:00.000-04:00

I was tagged by my friend, Rosemary, for this meme.

Here are the rules: "Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.”

1. I don't like to vacuum. It's too noisy, and I can literally feel the pressurization in the room change and it doesn't feel good. In fact, I've never vacuumed my house. Poor my husband has to do it.

2. If it weren't for the fact that we are trying to have a baby, I'd have a glass of wine every night. Now that I mention it, I could really go for a nice Cabernet. I love red wine, swirling it around in my glass, the bouquet, the taste, the entire experience.... Ahhhhh.....

3. Some of you will find this strange. I prefer old Van Halen to new Van Halen. There's something about the song Panama that creates such a vibe for me. I like Def Leppard too. Actually, I like lots of classic rock. I like Nirvana. I like Rush. I like The Cure. I saw lots of bands way back when. We're going to see The Police in July and Rush later in June. I also like Trance music.

4. I'm a certified scuba diver, I've sky-dived, and I have a motorcycle endorsement on my license. I never rode a motorcycle on the road, though, and I'm too scared to ever do it. Sky diving was neat, and I can tell my grandchildren all about it someday. Scuba diving is beautiful; I wish my husband would get certified, but that's okay.

5. I've been to quite a few countries. Let's see if I can remember them all. Canada, Mexico, Costa Rica, Ecuador, Colombia, Chile, Brazil, Canary Islands, Ireland, the U.K., France, Switzerland, Germany, Spain, Indonesia, Singapore (at the airport for a connection), Taiwan, the UAE, Bahrain, Greece, India (at the airport for fuel), Norway, and Iceland.

6. In my opinion, the most beautiful place on the earth is Lourdes, France. I felt like I was at the gateway to heaven. It was December and there was a mist over the place that further gave it a heavenly feel.

7. I once had an hour-per-day addiction to Tetris. I could make a quarter last an hour. People at the arcade would stand behind me to see me play. Actually, when I was a child, Legos were my favorite toy and I think that this fostered my love for Tetris later in life.

8. I've been inside the 747 that carries the Space Shuttle.

I tag:
Ma Beck, A thorn in the pew, Stephanie, Antonia, Catholic Mom of 10, Newhousenewjob, Marie, and Beth.

My hands don't look like my mother's anymore

2007-05-24T22:35:00.000-04:00

I mean, my hands don't have those veins popping up anymore like they did.

I keep staring at my hands and touching them. They seem so smooth. Even my husband noticed how nice they look.

And I feel so AWAKE. I was really feeling sleepy all the time. I've been feeling so ENERGETIC.
And I don't go to the bathroom as frequently as I had been going.
AND I felt great during my premenstrual time (like it was any normal day). No cramping or anything.
AND when my cycle started, I was not bloated at all!!!!!!!!!! Normally I'm so swollen, I keep asking V, "look at me, don't I look swollen?"
And I haven't weighed myself, but I think my metabolism has picked up or something because my clothes are looser. I was able to get back into my old jeans.
And I used to feel the blood rushing through my veins (like a little clot or something) and I don't feel it anymore.
AND my libido is UP! I had been wondering where it went. My husband is looking very attractive right now.
And I had no discharge during my luteal phase. It was so clean.
And when I roll my tongue to look at its underside, I don't have ugly purple veins popping out like they used to.

I can't tell you how GREAT I'm feeling. I feel so happy. At the very least, if it doesn't help me with my fertility, I'm so much healthier. And you know what? Whatever I may do in the road ahead regarding my fertility, at the very least, I will be MUCH HEALTHIER in preparation for it. But I'm hoping that THIS is our month. And if not THIS one, than maybe next. I feel like a 20-year-old with a clean slate and good to go.

I've spent the past 7 weeks:
(1) taking all the supplements suggested by the book "Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition" and
(2) Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM)

As part of the above, I've been taking towards the high end of the range folic acid, B6, Omega 3s, and vitamin E to naturally aide me with my blood clotting.

What's the baby's name?

2007-05-23T22:29:00.000-04:00

We returned from New York yesterday! We had a really nice trip. We visited a lot of the family and many of my husband's friends.

We went to a wedding on Saturday. It was really nice. The food was awesome. For deserts, not only did they have wedding cake, but they also had a zeppoli station, cheese cakes, cannolis, little Italian cookies, and a lot of other little things.

We went to see my husband's grandmother who is in her early 90s and has recently begun to live in a nursing home. She can hardly move around and my husband's grandfather (who is 97) simply can't lift her or help her anymore, and she really needs 24-hour care. The nursing home is really nice, and her roommate is a delightful 90-year-old woman named Marie. I felt like I was in a college dorm, only there was no loud music and the residents are all in wheelchairs.

When we went to see my husband's grandmother, she looked up at my husband and said, "What's the baby's name?" My husband said, "what baby?" "Yours," she said. "Grandma, we don't have a baby yet." I thought this was a beautiful exchange! How blessed that she would ask for our baby's name!

Why would God want me to be infertile?

2007-05-17T23:59:00.000-04:00

There is an excellent post on catholic.com that attempts to answer this question. Go here.

I especially like this part:
When the cross God has given you to carry seems to be getting too heavy, remember this meditation by St. Francis De Sales:
The everlasting God has in his wisdom foreseen from eternity the cross that he now presents to you as a gift from his inmost heart. This cross he now sends you he has considered with his all-knowing eyes, understood with his divine mind, tested with his wise justice, warmed with loving arms, and weighed with his own hands to see that it be not one inch too large and not one ounce too heavy for you. He has blessed it with his holy name, anointed it with his consolation, taken one last glance at you and your courage, and then sent it to you from heaven, a special greeting from God to you, an alms of the all-merciful love of God.

We leave for New York tomorrow!

2007-05-17T23:31:00.001-04:00

We're going to be away until next Tuesday, so I don't know if I'll be online. We're going to a wedding of one of my husband's friends (and former co-worker). I modeled some dresses for my husband and had him pick one. I like doing these fashion shows for him.

That picture on the left is me with Long Island Sound in the background.

We'll also get the chance to see a lot of family, so I'm really looking forward to it!!!

Our trip away last weekend

2007-05-17T23:11:00.000-04:00

We went to The Players Championship in Ponte Vedra Beach last weekend!

I've been meaning to write about it. We really had a great time. We drove north on Friday and stayed in Daytona Beach two nights. (Ponte Vedra Beach is about 75 miles north of Daytona Beach.) We went to the golf tournament on Saturday.

I really enjoyed walking the golf course and seeing all the players. We camped out on the 17th hole for a bit (pictured at left), having lunch and watching all the players come through.

We saw Boo Weekly tee off at #1 and followed him for a few holes. We were at #17 when Tiger came through. Back to #1, and we saw Phil tee off. We followed Phil for the first three holes. Back to #18 and we sat in the bleachers and watched Vijay and Retief come through. We saw Zack Johnson in the autograph area. They all play so beautifully! Now, if I could play a par 3 in less than seven strokes...

Well, maybe next month

2007-05-16T21:58:00.000-04:00

Oh well. My temperature fell this morning and I knew it was over. It's 14dpo. On a good note, my temperature was pretty good right through 13dpo. Normally I start to drop at 13dpo, but this time I didn't drop until 14dpo. Could it be the TCM? I don't know. I think it's a positive thing. On another note, I've been fighting a cold of sorts for the entire past week. It's been nasty (i.e., lots of phlegm and coughing and nose-blowing). I wonder if it's related to the TCM. Maybe.

Another positive thing is that I barely have any cramping. I normally don't really have too much, anyway, but this time it's different. I almost feel like I'm not getting my period at all. My premenstrual spotting started last night, which TCM says is not healthy. Your menstruation should come by surprise with no warning, TCM says. However, the spotting wasn't as much as prior cycles. I think these are good signs. My lower back doesn't hurt either (as it usually does on CD28). I'm expecting the big red flow to start tomorrow. I think I should keep up the TCM because it seems to be doing something.

I called my TCM lady and told her. She had given me some herbs to start taking as soon as I had my temperature drop, so I started these this afternoon. I stopped by her office after work, and picked up more herbs for the next three days. She says these help with menstruation somehow. "Move the blood" is how she calls it. It must make more sense in Chinese, but I catch her drift.

My husband was wonderful today. I told him this morning that my temperature drop and we held each other. Normally we share the driving to and from work, but he volunteered to drive both ways today! And he called me a few times during the day to see how I was doing. He knows I get sad on this day. I am sad, but I'm trying to be positive with the changes I'm seeing.

Not much to report today

2007-05-15T22:54:00.000-04:00

Not much to report today. My husband worked late tonight as he always does on Tuesdays. Tuesdays are his day to work afternoon to evening. I went to and from work. I wanted to get a haircut this evening, but the place closed at six (and by the time I drove there after work, they had just closed). I went for a walk around the whole neighborhood then I lifted my little weights. I put clothes away. I'm installing the software for my digital camera.

Temp still up, so I'll see how tomorrow goes.

I had a great day!

2007-05-14T22:58:00.000-04:00

Thank you to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday, either on my blog or via another means. I was so happy to be the recipient to such kind attention.

I wound up having a beautiful day!

This morning my dear friend Gabby gave me a book that filled me with tears (that's happy tears). It is called 100 Questions from My Child. It has cute questions like, "Are we going to disappear like the dinosaurs did?" It made me feel so hopeful that I would have a child that would ask me these questions. I really felt a sense of so much peace and hope for some reason.

Then at lunch ALL my co-workers (twelve of them) took me out to lunch. We went to a Thai restaurant (my favorite cuisine). I had a Pad Thai with shrimp and a Tom Yum Goong soup.

This evening, my husband took me to dinner at a nice restaurant right on the intercoastal waterway. I had a great plate of seafood.

So, I'm looking forward to a new year filled with hope and lots of confidence.

Yes, I did test this morning in the off-chance I'd get those two pink lines, but it was negative, BUT it's too early to test anyway, as it's only 12dpo, so there's still hope!

Tomorrow

2007-05-13T23:06:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is my birthday. My 37th birthday. Never in my life did I think that I would not be a happily married wife and mother by the time I was 30, much less 37. Why? Why? Why why why? (But, you know, I have a great husband who really makes me HAPPY, and he really is worth the time it took to get to him, and it's important to be a happily married wife first, right?) Still. It's a lot of little girls' dreams to grow up and have a husband and baby someday. We play with dolls and have little pretend ovens. So many years of yearning and waiting. What am I supposed to say when people say, "Happy Birthday" tomorrow? "Thank you, it hasn't been as happy as I would like for it to be." No, no, no. I should say, "I very much appreciate your well wishes for me." Ah, that's it! I bought myself a FRER (First Response Early Pregnancy Test) for my birthday, although it will be a little early to test (12dpo). I'll see if I get my birthday present in the morning and if my mother's prediction is right. I'll post again Monday night.

Peace be with all of you.

Hail Mary, full of grace

2007-05-13T16:14:00.000-04:00

Rather than get too embroiled over the fact that I have no children yet looking up to me to say "Happy Mother's Day" and that I feel an emptiness in my home because they are not here and I miss their presence (as I'm sure any mother can understand the feeling of missing one's children), (and this day hits the entire trying-to-have-children community very much), (and just because of my age I cringe to leave the house because when I've done so in the past, well-meaning cashiers will innocently wish me a happy mother's day thus causing me to explain 'I am childless' reminding me again that I have no children), I would instead like to focus my attention on the greatest mother we have, the mother of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ.

For all those still yearning for the gift of children, I hope you find consolation and love and receive intercession from Mary, our Blessed Mother.

Hail Mary, full of grace.
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

We are family: Stories of adoption

2007-05-09T22:24:00.000-04:00

Here is the link to the Today Show's segment on adoption which aired this morning:

What I'm Currently Reading

2007-05-09T21:43:00.000-04:00

I was so touched to be tagged by PBXVI (that's The Catholic Warrior, not the one in Rome) for a meme!

Well, not surprisingly, I am currently reading the following:

1. The Infertility Cure, by Dr. Randine Lewis. She is a licensed acupuncturist and herbalist who studied both Eastern and Western Medicine. After attending medical school, she consulted Traditional Chinese Medicine for her own difficulty in trying to become (and stay) pregnant. I really am finding the book interesting! It's really helping me to understand my TCM treatments a lot better. I just started it a few days ago. I jumped ahead to the chapters on Luteal Phase Deficiency (although this chapter didn't really apply to me), to the chapter on Advanced Maternal Age (which was incredibly helpful and helped me to understand my Spleen Qi deficiency a lot better and gave me some helpful advice that I've already taken), and to the chapter on Immunologic Reaction and Recurrent Miscarriage (which gave me more understanding and advice on my Protein S blood clotting disorder). I highly recommend it.

2. I just finished and am still consulting Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition by Marilyn Shannon. As soon as I bought the book I immediately jumped to the table that lists all the vitamins and minerals that we should be taking for optimum fertility, and I immediately went to Walgreen's to buy all the recommended supplements. Mrs. Shannon, incredibly, had her 8th child at the age of 48. She is an NFP teacher with the Couple to Couple League. She has helped women for years to overcome their fertility problems when trying to conceive, and she combed through scientific literature extensively to see what supplements work. She spends the book explaining just how nutrition deficiency affects our fertility and offers specific solutions to specific fertility problems. She also has great advice on more nutritious eating for our families. It has been about five weeks since I began this supplementation program.

3. I keep a bible next to my bed. Last year I started to reread the letters of the New Testament. The next letter I am starting is Paul's First Letter to the Corinthians.

4. And I read many informative and lovely blogs!

Today Show segment on Recurrent Miscarriage

2007-05-08T22:50:00.000-04:00

My dear brother saw this on the Today Show this morning, thought about me, and sent me a link to this video.

Here it is:

http://video.msn.com/v/us/msnbc.htm?g=18f9641f-d84e-4b5e-b5e4-1cb326594be8&f=00&fg

It's a segment on miscarriage, specifically recurrent miscarriage, and how we should be our own advocate.

They say at the end that there is a segment tomorrow on adoption.

Marriage meme

2007-05-08T22:08:00.000-04:00

My friend, Rosemary, tagged me for this meme. It was fun to do!

1. Where/How did you meet? We met on match.com. I happened to be on business in Brazil and was logged in. He sent me an instant message that started with "hello."

2. How long have you known each other? 3 years, 3 months

3. How long after you met did you start dating? The day after I got back from Brazil, 10 days later.

4. How long did you date before you were engaged? 5 months

5. How long was your engagement? 9 months

6. How long have you been married? 2 years, 2 weeks

7. What is your anniversary? It was on April 23!

8. How many people came to your wedding reception? 114 adults, 4 children, and 1 baby

9. What kind of cake did you serve? It had a cannoli filling

10. Where was your wedding? At a church in New York

11. What did you serve for your meal? It was a buffet. We had all kinds of great food, including a carving station and a pasta station. For cocktail hour, there were hors d'oeuvres passed around. We had chocolate covered strawberries at the end.

12. How many people were in your bridal party? 11

13. Are you still friends with them all? Yes, we're related to most of them.

14. Did your spouse cry during the ceremony? No. He was just so happy!

15. Most special moment of your wedding day? Seeing my husband at the end of the aisle.

16. Any funny moments? The best man pretended that he had lost the wedding rings! He padded every pocket, looked at my husband, and shrugged his shoulders. He was so funny. He knew exactly where they were. Even our priest chuckled.

17. Any big disasters? The flower shop did not tell us that the flower girl's crown was behind the alter. (It really wasn't a disaster, though.)

18. Where did you go on your honeymoon? Saint Thomas, USVI.

19. How long were you gone? One week.

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change? I would put the bridal bouquet by the door.

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on? The side furthest from the door so that if there is an intruder, they'd have to go through my husband first!

22. What size is your bed? king

23. Greatest strength as a couple? We have similar values, the same faith, same expectations as to how children should behave, etc.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple? I like it to be more quiet. He doesn't mind having two TVs on, plus watching streaming video on the internet. It's too much noise for me, and I can't concentrate.

25. Who literally pays the bills? 90% of it is on automatic withdrawal, so it's not a huge impact. He has three bills he pays and I pay the others that trickle in, and I monitor the credit cards and make those payments.

26. What is your song? Love is where you are by Dianna Krall

27. What did you dance your first dance to? Love is where you are by Dianna Krall at the wedding! He doesn't dance regularly so that was it!

28. Describe your wedding dress? That's it on a model on the right.

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding? They were roses.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved? Yes, they have our names forever.

Chinese Lunar Chart

2007-05-03T23:22:00.000-04:00

According to the Chinese Lunar Chart, if we are successful this month, it would be a boy.

My TCM appointment Tuesday night

2007-05-03T22:31:00.000-04:00

I went to my TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) lady last night. You can read about my three previous visits here and here and here.

Last night was CD13 for me.

Okay, there's a lot of fertility too much information here, so be prepared.
___________________________

So, we started the appointment by talking about cervical mucous. I actually started by telling her there is something different with my cervical mucous -- where is it? I've had almost nothing and it's CD13! So, she told me that a woman's body is supposed to have only a lubricative sensation in the days leading up to ovulation but you shouldn't be producing SO MUCH ewcm (egg white cervical mucous) discharging out of you leading up to ovulation. I told her that normally I start seeing ewcm discharge from CD10. She says that that means that I have too much ewcm. I am off-balance. She said picture the sperm trying to swim upstream in the ewcm; if you have too much it is a tidal wave and the sperm cannot swim! She told me not to worry, that probably when I get home that I would have ewcm, and she said that the fact I reported this means that the TCM is working!

She asked me if I was recording my BBT (basal body temperature), and I told her that I used to, but I'm not this cycle (or last) because I am regular and I was producing a similar temp chart month-after-month. So, why bother if I have regular cycles? It just leads to obsession, I said. She agreed with me and wanted to know what my charts would look like, and I told her that I'd have low pre-ovulatory temperatures, then a spike after ovulation, then high post-ovulatory temps, then the drop again. She said that sure sounds regular and normal. I'm glad she asked. First time a doctor asks me about my BBT charts.

She asked me if my feet still feel cold. I said, actually not so much anymore. She asked me about my appetite, my energy level, and she looked at my tongue. Yes, you still have a circulation problem.

We proceeded on to the acupuncture. She had me face-down first. She worked on the area around my shoulder blades because of my shoulder pain (which is A LOT less now than before but it kind of keeps creeping back). She touched pressure points all over my body asking "sensitive?" and then she'd stick a needle there. With me, it turned out to be a lot of liver and spleen pressure points that needed needles. (As I explained last time, she said the liver and spleen, along with the kidney, are essential for fertility.) I had some definite sensitivity with my liver and spleen points.

She told me my shoulder blade pain problems in that area could be early arthritis! Huh? I'm only 36.

Then I flipped over for more acupuncture. This time she did the fertility points (ovaries and stuff).

I asked her how exactly do these needles cure? She said that's the million dollar question; they don't really know. She said there are a few theories. The pressure points were mapped out a long time ago. As far as how the needles work, she theorizes (along with other TCMers) that the body recognizes an intruder at that point and then chemicals or something rush to fight it. My liver, for example, tries to find a way to fight that needle, and it doing so, heals itself.

She noticed how much more sensitive my right ovary point was than my left. She said THAT's not normal. Women are left sensitive and men are right. She says I am male-dominant and need to be more feminine. Women who are male-dominant take longer to conceive. I said, as a matter of fact, I studied engineering, work in a male-dominated business, and I like to do a lot of the handyman work around the house. Interesting. So, I wore earrings and a necklace today and purple underwear (instead of my white hanes-her-way) in an effort to be more feminine. I mean, HOW am I supposed to be MORE feminine?!?!?!?

Okay, back to TCM:

So, she gave me little packets of herbs. I have CD13, CD14, and CD15 herbs to support ovulation. Then skip CD16. Then I have herbs for CD17 - 27 to support implantation (should it happen). She also added anti-coagulating stuff (so that means I have not been taking baby aspirin since she's taking care of my circulation issues).

Anecdote: She told me she went to a baby shower last weekend of one of her infertility clients. She told me about that patient and how the woman wouldn't get menstruation on her own and was on some drugs and finally the woman went to TCM, stopped the drugs, got menstruation on her own the first cycle off the drugs and on TCM, and the following cycle got pregnant.

When I got home last night after my appointment, I did have nice, normal ewcm! I was so happy. And it is different and looks healthier. I hope all this means that we have conceived. I'll find out in less than two weeks. I'm going to test the morning of my birthday even though it'll only be 12 days past ovulation, but it would be a great birthday present.

My poor arms

2007-05-01T22:43:00.000-04:00

So, two weeks ago I posted that the Perinatologist was sending me to a repeat blood test to confirm the Protein S Deficiency and another set of blood tests.

I went to the lab today for the tests. It was about twelve vials. She started with my left arm and around the 10th vial she told me that it was clotting and the blood flow was slowing down now. So, we finished the last two vials with my right arm. My left arm still hurts where the needle was. I came out of there with a bandaid-gauze thing on each arm.

I find out the results on May 31 when I go to the Perinatologist.

We bought a new car two weeks ago

2007-04-30T21:58:00.000-04:00

We bought a new car two weeks ago. It's a 2007 Subaru Outback. It looks like the one pictured at left, except ours does not have a moon roof. It looks nice, doesn't it? Our other car was really unsafe. On numerous occasions we skidded without control on the turnpike. Then one day in the rain, my husband skidded 100 feet without being able to stop. So, he said to me last month, we need to get rid of this car and get a new one. I'm not putting my children in here. That just melted my heart. So, we looked around and decided on the Subaru Outback. We've been very pleased with it. And the sweetest thing my husband did was tell me, look, honey, three children can fit in the backseat. I checked it out; you can latch in the car seats and everything.

Estrogen, Lavender, and Tea Tree Oil

2007-04-29T21:56:00.000-04:00

The use of lavender or tea tree oil can increase estrogen. This isn't good. You have to have your estrogen in the right range for proper fertility balance. Estrogen is involved in the thickening of the endometrium and other aspects of regulating the menstrual cycle. It promotes the formation of female secondary sex characteristics. It increases good cholesterol (HDL) and decreases bad cholesterol (LDL). It affects salt and water retention. It helps in the formation of cervical mucous.

Too little estrogen and a woman could have hot flashes, night sweats, sleep disorders, vaginal dryness, dry skin, Heart palpitations, and yeast infections.

Too much estrogen and a woman could have water retention, fatigue, Fibrocystic Breasts, PMS-like symptoms, uterine fibroids, and weight gain. Many women with PMS have elevated estrogen. If the woman doesn't have enough vitamin B in her diet, high estrogen reduces progesterone levels (which are needed for implantation). According to Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition by Marilyn M. Shannon, vitamin B6 can restore estrogen and progesterone to their normal levels.

Hmmmm....I I retain a LOT of water. That has me wondering....could I have too much estrogen? On the other hand, when my progesterone was tested, it came back healthy.

So, back to the lavender and tea tree oil. A doctor was seeing pre-pubescent who had breast development. After testing for everything else, it was ultimately determined that the boys had a common factor. They were each using soaps, hair gel, shampoo, and similar topical products with these two herbal ingredients. Researchers carried out an in-vitro experiment; the oils caused the cells to turn on estrogen-regulated genes. In other words, both act as estrogen mimics. Read more here.

So, I looked at my bar of soap. I bought a 10-pack of Ivory soaps back in December, and they all have lavender!!! I started looking at the ingredients in my pump soap label -- lavender!!! So, I went to Whole Foods this weekend and I bought all organic products for my hair and skin, all without lavender and tea tree oil. Look at your labels. It's amazing how many products have lavender in their ingredients.

The skin is the body's largest organ. What I put in my skin, can pass through and enter my body. In medicine, there are drugs that are administered cutaneously (i.e., you apply them on your skin). So, I'm looking at my OLD bottle of hand lotion and it has petrolatum, polysaccharide, peg 100 stearate, diazolidinyl urea, xanthan gum, and iodopropynyl butylcarbamate amongst other things like castor oil and cocoa butter. How much of this actually passes through my skin and into me?

So, I went to Whole Foods this weekend, as I said, and bought shampoo, conditioner, shaving cream, deodorant, tooth paste, body lotion, hand lotion, foundation make up, and two lip sticks all made from natural products. I must say, I love my new shampoo!! It has a grapefruit fragrance. And my new lipsticks have ingredients like jojoba oil, safflower oil, vitamin A, vitamin E, aloe vera, and St. John's Wort extract.

Feast Day of Saint Gianna Beretta Molla

2007-04-28T22:23:00.000-04:00

Today is the Feast Day of Saint Gianna Beretta Molla.

Saint Gianna Beretta Molla was a physician, a mother, and a loving wife.

She was born in 1922 in Magenta, Italy, the tenth of thirteen children (five of whom died at an early age). Her parents were Third Order Franciscans and considered the education of their children a fulfillment of God's work. Because of her careful religious training, Gianna was allowed to receive her First Communion at the age of 5 1/2. From then on, she received communion every day for the rest of her life, even in inclement weather or illness.

Gianna's writings show that she wished to offer everything to Jesus, both suffering and joy:

To do all things for the Lord... To serve God, I will not go to the movies without being sure that the film is suitable and not scandalous or immoral...
I prefer to die rather than commit a mortal sin...
To say the «Hail Mary» every day so that the Lord might give me a holy death...
I wish to fear mortal sin as if it were a serpent and I repeat I would die a thousand times rather than offend the Lord.
I wish to ask the Lord to help me not to go to hell and therefore to avoid all that would harm my soul.
I beg the Lord to help me understand his great mercy.
I propose to obey M.M. and to study even though I don’t feel like it, for the love of Jesus.
From this day on, I wish to pray on my knees in the morning in church just as I do in my room in the evening at the foot of my bed.
The way of humiliation is the shortest way to reach holiness. To pray that the Lord lead me to Paradise.

When Gianna was 12 years old, she became involved in Catholic Action. Catholic Action was a movement whose aim was to mobilize the Catholic laity to live a more intense spiritual life. Gianna visited the poor and sick in their homes, bringing them food and medicine. Gianna offered the following as her own program for a more spiritual life:

Morning & Evening prayers, not in bed but on your knees
Holy Mass
Holy Communion
Meditation, at least 10 minutes
Visit to the Blessed Sacrament
Holy Rosary, without Our Lady’s help no one enters Paradise

Gianna's parents died within four months of each other in 1942. She endured the tragedy of war with her deep faith in God and completed her medical studies at the medical school in Pavia, graduating in 1949 with honors. In 1952, she earned her speciality in pediatrics.

Gianna considered her profession as a service, not only to the bodies but to the souls.

“Everyone works in the service of man. We doctors work directly on man himself... The great mystery of man is Jesus: 'He who visits a sick person, helps me,' Jesus said... Just as the priest can touch Jesus, so do we touch Jesus in the bodies of our patients... We have opportunities to do good that the priest doesn't have. Our mission is not finished when medicines are no longer of use. We must bring the soul to God; our word has some authority... Catholic doctors are so necessary!”

Gianna hoped to work as a lay missionary doctor, in Brazil alongside her brother. However, many obstacles prevented this hope from being fulfilled. Gianna prayed for many years over her calling, asking others to pray and repeatedly sought advice. She then went on a pilgrimage to Lourdes where she prayed at great length. Through her spirit, she finally discerned that she was being called by God to form a family. She directed her thoughts to married life, secure in the knowledge that this was God’s will for her.

The family of Pietro Molla (an engineer) lived in the building that faced Gianna’s office. Pietro and Gianna occasionally encountered each other. One day, they happened to be at the same Mass. They began to cross paths more frequently and became truly happy.

Gianna accepted Pietro’s proposal of marriage on February 20, 1955. She looked eagerly to her future. She was certain that marrying Pietro was her vocation. Gianna wrote:

What is a vocation? It is a gift from God–it comes from God himself. Our concern then, should be to know the will of God. We should enter into the path that God wills for us, not by “forcing the door,” but when God wills as God wills….”

On September 24, 1955, at the age of 33, Gianna’s brother Father Giuseppe married Gianna Berretta to Pietro Molla in the Basilica of San Martino in Magenta. Gianna walked down the aisle on the arm of her brother Ferdinando. Everyone in the church was struck by her beauty and applause broke out throughout the church. The happy couple honeymooned in Rome and all over Italy and Europe. A few weeks after the wedding, Pietro wrote:

“Her holy virtue, the gentle goodness and affection of Gianna, all her cares, give me the full joy and serenity which I asked of Jesus on my wedding day. With Gianna I am sure of forming a truly Christian family on which she will know how to draw the most beautiful heavenly graces…We have begun and will continue with perseverance the daily recitation of the Rosary. May our heavenly mother always watch over us and give us the grace to be cheered by little angels.” (by which he meant the happy and healthy children he and Gianna hoped to have)

Children
Two weeks before their wedding, Gianna wrote to Pietro:

“With God’s help and blessing we will do our best to make our new family a little cenacle where Jesus reigns over all our affections, desires, and actions… We will become collaborators with God in His creation and so we will be able to give him children that love and serve him".

Their first son, Pierluigi was born on November 19, 1956. A sister, Maria Zita (Mariolina), was born on December 11, 1957. On July 15, 1959 their third child, Laura, was born. To thank God after the birth of each child, Gianna took money from her savings and gave it to the missions in an amount equal to a worker's six months salary.

Gianna's pregnancies were all difficult. In each pregnancy, she experienced hyperemesis (excessive vomiting), intestinal binding and dysfunction, and other gastric disturbances. Her first pregnancy went 25 days beyond her due date, with a labor that lasted 36 hours. Because of the baby's large size, the delivery was by forceps. Her second pregnancy went 10 days late with a long and painful delivery. During her third pregnancy, Gianna had to be admitted to the hospital for acute spasmodic contractions. That delivery was also as painful as the others.

In September 1961, towards the end of her second month of pregnancy, Gianna developed a fibroma in her uterus. She was in considerable pain. It appears that the fibroid was large enough that it might have threatened the continuation of the pregnancy by compressing the fetus. Such compression could result in fetal abnormalities. Large fibroids may cause preterm labor. They may outgrow their blood supply, causing considerable pain as well as becoming infected. Gianna was presented with three choices:

Have her uterus removed in order to remove the fibroid from her body. This would result, however, in the death of her 2 month old fetus, and prevent her from ever having more children.
Have the fibroid removed as well as terminating the pregnancy, thereby still retaining the possibility of future pregnancies.
Have the fibroid surgically removed and risk the continuation of her pregnancy, which is the option Gianna chose. She understood that there were risks to herself and to her unborn baby with this option.

Her fourth pregnancy (like the first three) was difficult. Though her water broke, labor did not immediately follow, despite the use of a labor-inducing drug. The decision was made to deliver the baby by Cesarean section. On April 21, 1962 Gianna Emanuela was born.

Gianna's Death
Gianna's condition began to decline after Gianna Emanuela's birth, with symptoms including an elevated fever, a rapid, weakened pulse, and exhaustion. Gianna died 7 days later, on April 28, of septic peritonitis, an infection of the lining of the abdomen. Gianna was 39.

In today's medical world, it might well have been possible to save Gianna's life. Septic peritonitis today is rarely fatal when identified early and aggressively treated.

Pietro recounts that as she was dying she said

“Pietro, I was on the other side already and if I could tell you what I saw! One day I will. But since we were too happy with our wonderful children, full of health and grace, with all of heaven’s blessings, they sent me back here, to suffer more, because it is not right to knock at the Lord’s door without having suffered greatly.”

The church could not contain the number of people that came to her funeral. Everyone was convinced that there was a new saint in Heaven.

On the Sunday before the funeral, Pietro and the children went to the church to have the new baby baptized. She was named Gianna Emanuela -- the first name in remembrance of her mother and the second to reaffirm their faith in the presence of God in their family.

Sainthood

In 1970, Bishop Carlo Columbo requested Pietro's approval to promote the cause of Gianna’s beatification. Pietro was reluctant with concerns that his and his children’s lives would be made public. After considering Gianna’s life, Pietro gave his approval but requested that the process not take too long so as to not place the children under too much duress.

In 1991, The Congregation for the Cause of Saints confirmed and Pope John Paul II decreed that the heroic virtues of the Servant of God, Gianna Beretta Molla, are recognized. By this action, Gianna became Venerable.

In 1992, Pope John Paul II issued the the “Decree of Miracle."

In 1994, Gianna was beatified by Pope John Paul II in Saint Peter's Square.

On May 16, 2004, Gianna Beretta Molla was canonized in St. Peter’s Square, Rome, by His Holiness Pope John Paul II. In attendance were Pietro (by this time aged 91), her three living children, her granddaughter, her living siblings, medical patients of Gianna, and friends, etc.

The Official Miracle

In Brazil, Elisabeth Comparini Arcolino was 16 weeks pregnant with her fourth child when she sustained a tear in the placenta, resulting in the loss of her amniotic fluid. The baby’s chances of survival were zero. By divine providence, Bishop Diogenes Silva Matthes of Franca, Brazil, was visiting a friend in the hospital. At home, he began to pray for Saint Gianna's intercession. Despite the lack of amniotic fluid, the mother delivered a healthy baby girl, Gianna Maria, by Cesarean section. The entire Arcolino family was in Rome for the canonization.

Learn more about her life, read testimonies, or submit a prayer request here.

Last night's TCM appointment

2007-04-25T22:50:00.000-04:00

Last night I went to my TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) lady. It was CD6.

I started this three weeks ago. (So, I started mid-cycle last cycle, and last night I was CD6.)

She asked me LOTS of questions about my period that just ended. Color. Consistency. Heavy? Light? How many days, etc? I never talked to someone so much about what my period looks like (but I was glad too).

She asked me if my feet still feel cold. Actually, not so much anymore. She looked at my tongue and said it indicates that I'm bloated (and, yes, a circulation problem). As a matter of fact, yes, I do get very bloated during my period. She reviewed her notes from last time. She took my pulse on both wrists.

She says that ANY spotting that I've had between Ovulation and my period is not healthy. I had the teeeeeeniest pink spot on 5dpo and then the minutest amount of brown spotting right at cycle end. (And as an aside to all of you, I used to have MORE brown spotting in prior cycles before supplementing with Royal Jelly.) I asked her about implantation spotting. She says that in Chinese Medicine it is NOT healthy to spot. You should not spot at all. Nothing should leak out. Sure, she said, people may spot and go on to have a pregnancy, but it's not optimum health, and you want to be optimally healthy.

We discussed in detail the spotting I had, color, size, consistency.

She said that spotting indicates a slight problem coming from the liver or spleen. Fertility problems also come from the kidneys, but she notes NO symptoms of kidney problems in me. Kidney, liver, spleen -- those are the three they look at in Chinese Medicine for Fertility.

It makes sense. This blood-clotting disorder comes from the liver somehow. I don't know how to explain it.

She said we need to treat the underlying causes of my infertility -- liver, spleen. We'll do some fertility stuff too, but this cycle we will focus more on liver / spleen.

We went on to acupuncture. She touches you in specific points that lead to your organs and asks you "sensitive?" In my case, all my sensitive points happened to be liver / spleen. More spleen it seemed.

So I laid there with a bunch of needles sticking out. Also, I had very high sensitivity to areas having to do with bloating, and she put needles there too and BOY did they hold tight! She said I was REALLY bloated.

We did some acupuncture for fertility, but not so much since the focus is liver/spleen.

She gave me a bunch of Chinese herbs having to do with liver/spleen and a little bit for fertility.

I go next week on CD13 so that she can get me ready for ovulation.

About the recent vote in Mexico

2007-04-25T22:33:00.000-04:00

I am so sad that Mexico City's legislators voted to make abortion legal in Mexico City, the same place where Mary, the blessed mother, appeared with typical native pregnancy dress. (The black band under her hands symbolizes pregnancy.)

Poor Innocents. Rest in peace.

From Zenit:

Mexico City Legalizes 1st-Trimester Abortions

MEXICO CITY, APRIL 25, 2007 (Zenit.org).- Despite masses of protesters and strong appeals by Catholic leaders, Mexico City's legislative assembly voted overwhelmingly to legalize abortion in the first trimester within the federal district.

The bill was approved 46-19 on Tuesday and will take effect after it receives the promised signature by Mayor Marcelo Ebrard.

It applies only to the federal district, some 600 square miles (1,547 square kilometers) in the center of the metropolis of Mexico City. The federal district functions like a state.

The Archdiocese of Mexico is expected to make a statement on Sunday.

Abortions had only been legal in cases of rape, presumed fetal defects or in cases endangering the mother's life. The new law will permit hospitals to perform them during the first trimester and the measure would open the door for abortion clinics. Parental consent will be required for girls under 18.

Pro-lifers have said they will appeal the decision to the Mexican Supreme Court.

Trisomy 13 and Trisomy 18

2007-04-24T23:17:00.000-04:00

H/T to Kristin.

Click on both links here:
http://www.daniellebean.com/?view=1072

You'll be teary-eyed both times!

Happy Two Year Wedding Anniversary!

2007-04-23T22:08:00.000-04:00

It's our Wedding Anniversary!!!

Happy Anniversary, honey!!!

There's always Plan B (but not yet)

2007-04-21T22:35:00.000-04:00

I have rewritten a post from last night because I didn't word it correctly.

Alice Domar in Conquering Infertility says that you always have to have a Plan B. Having a Plan B gives you comfort. For some non-Catholics, Plan B could be moving on to IVF or egg donation or sperm donation, for example. For me plan B is we adopt someday, which is a wonderful calling and blessing, but I'm not emotionally ready for that step, and I don't yet discern that calling. Adoption can be a very expensive, lengthy, and grief-stricken process. We just aren't at that point.

It's been a life-long dream to have birth children. I'm still that five-year old girl who told her kindergarten teacher that she wants to be a "mommy" when she grows up. All through school I kept thinking "this is for my future children." But I realize now that those children may or may not be from my pregnant body. And I know I can be a mommy but my husband and I want to keep trying to become biological parents . Not enough time has passed. And you never know (and I've thought about this for quite some time now) -- once we do become biological parents, we may very well wish to adopt children and be parents to a larger family of children.

I do accept God's will, but I hope this cup of infertility passes soon, and I know it's okay to feel like this. I'm reminded of Jesus praying in the garden of Gethsemane:

"My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet, not as I will,
but as you will." Matthew 26:39

El Greco. The Agony in the Garden. c.1595

Can I just call it "stretching and twisting exercises" instead?

2007-04-20T21:56:00.000-04:00

H/T to a thorn in the pew for posting this.

Yoga -- Health or Stealth?
http://www.catholicculture.org/docs/doc_view.cfm?recnum=2927

All I do is stretch and twist when I do my Yoga 4 Fertility. I'm not trying to be God-like or anything.

Novena to Saint Gianna

2007-04-19T21:57:00.000-04:00

H/T to Kristin for reminding me of Saint Gianna's upcoming feast day!

In anticipation of Saint Gianna's feast day on April 28, I'm starting this novena today. Saint Gianna was a physician, a loving wife, and a mother to four children. She died shortly after giving birth to her fouth child from septic peritonitis, an infection of the lining of the abdomen. Early in her pregnancy, she had a fibroid removed, which put her and her baby at risk, but it was her only option considering that the only other options were to terminate the pregnancy.

Click here to find out what a novena is.

I left a big crying spot on my husband's shirt

2007-04-19T21:38:00.000-04:00

But that's what men's shirts are for, right?

I was emotionally exhausted today. It is CD1, which is not preferred, but at least I'm getting a little closer to resolving my infertility problem, but still. THEN, I had the appointment at the Perinatologist's office about my Recurrent Miscarriage results, and I never saw so many pregnant women in one place before. There must have been 10 pregnant women in the waiting room and three hanging around outside. They all had nice, round bellys. Then there was me.

I just felt sorry for myself. I feel like I don't belong in a room with pregnant women. I mean, it wasn't until I was 34 that I got invited to my first baby shower. I'm just not surrounded by that many people that have children. It's almost like I don't belong. Mainly it's because I don't have too many friends in real life, I guess, and I have no sisters, and I'm not geographically close to any girl cousins. And since I was an engineering major, I didn't make any girl-friends in college. I've digressed...

What's really bugging me is that next month is Mother's Day (on May 13) and my birthday is soon after! I'll be 37. I really, really hate this. I thought I'd be happily married and start having lots of children by 30, and here I am. Stuck. Stuck in infertility. And Mother's Day and my birthday are terrible reminders. I've had people wish me Happy Mother's Day before, just because I'm a woman, but it's cruel. Luckily Mother's Day falls on a Sunday this year, and I don't have to be around for all the work-place "Happy Mother's Day"s, but I'm seriously considering taking my birthday off.

My husband told me, haven't I always told you that I'm just so happy that I have YOU? Whatever happens, happens, honey. He would like to be a father, but if he doesn't become one, it's not the end of the world for him. I'm sorry I left that big crying spot on your shirt, honey.

It's CD1 so I called my TCM lady

2007-04-19T21:36:00.000-04:00

It's CD1 and my TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) lady had told me to call her if either (1) I got a positive pregnancy test or (2) I got my period. So, I called her today to tell her I got my period. She told me to stop in and pick up my CD1, CD2, and CD3 herbs. So, I did. These things taste rancid! She says they help with menstrual stuff and bloating and whatever.

Appointment with Perinatologist today

2007-04-19T20:45:00.000-04:00

I finally had an appointment with a Perinatologist today. (I was referred there by my gynecologist after my Recurrent Miscarriage blood panel revealed a blood-clotting disorder.)

I expected to see pregnant women there, and indeed, there were so many!!! I commented to the receptionist/nurse, how there's all of them, then there's me, The Infertile and Childless One. She reassured me there are more like me.

So, today's appointment was for a consult.

The doctor reviewed my labwork and said that since I have the ONE test showing the blood-clotting disorder (Protein S Deficiency), that it should be done a second time to confirm. In addition, it's possible that I could have this blood-clotting disorder in tandem with something else. The following is all the blood work he's sending me to get done:

Antithrombin III antigen activity levels
Lupus anticoagulant
Leiden mutation of Factor V
Prothrombin G20210A mutation
ANA
Anticardiolipin Ab.
Protein S Antigen activity levels (free and total)
Protein C Antigen activity levels (frozen)
Methylene tetrahydrofolate reductase (MTHFR) mutation
Free T3, T4, TSH
Blood Karyotype (chromosomes)

Lots of stuff, huh? A few of these are repeats, but most of these I've never had done.

I told the doctor that since receiving my Protein S result 14 days ago that I've been self-medicating myself with a baby aspirin per day. I asked him, if I go for the blood test now, will it skew the result because of the baby aspirin? He told me that perhaps it could and suggested that I wait two weeks (with NO baby aspirin intake) and then go in for the blood test. So, I'll do that -- today is CD1, so I'll have the blood work done on CD13, and I'll start on baby aspirin that night and I'll still be in good shape for this cycle.

I'm glad to get all this blood work done. He asked about all of our Infertility testing, and I told him that we had come up healthy on all of it, so it's good to keep digging into this group of tests.

What brought us to get my diagnosis

2007-04-18T22:30:00.000-04:00

I just realized I never explained how it is that I went for the Recurrent Miscarriage Blood Panel.
Here's the story:

My husband and I had turned up healthy on all of our infertility testing. So, why weren't we getting pregnant? Carefully observing my cycles I thought there were many instances in which we were conceiving, but I wasn't holding onto it for some reason. Two times I made it to six weeks and miscarried.

I requested that my Reproductive Endocrynologist to send me for the Recurrent Miscarriage blood panel. He refused saying that I've only had two miscarriages, and he doesn't send women for those unless they've had three! I told him, but, doctor, I watch my cycles very carefully and I think something is going on. I'm certain I've conceived several other times. Anyway, I went back to my gynecologist and asked her if she would send me for the Recurrent Miscarriage blood panel, and she agreed.

I just got my results on April 5. It turns out that I have a rare blood clotting disorder -- Protein S Deficiency. Basically, you have a few enzymes in your blood that balance between clotting and unclotting. Protein S is one of the unclotters. Being deficient in it, it means that I clot too much. My number was 24. Healthy begins at 58. Some internet research I did reveals that if you have a blood clotting disorder, it is very difficult, if not impossible, for you to get and stay pregnant.

It is worth mentioning that if you have done infertility testing and turned up healthy on it all, that you should request to have the Recurrent Miscarriage blood work done, because you could very well have a blood clotting problem. And Recurrent Miscarriage blood panel is a misnomer, because you may very well not even get to the point of recording a pregnancy and miscarrying!

My second TCM appointment

2007-04-13T22:42:00.000-04:00

I went to my second TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) appointment last night.

Once again, it was VERY interesting.

She looked at my tongue like last time. She said it's still too pale but better than last week. She also looked at the underside of my tongue; it's too purple. She said these are signs of a circulation problem.

She asked me all kinds of questions. She asked about my shoulder. I said, it's great! I still have pain in this whole upper back area though, between my shoulders. She said that this could all be related to a circulation problem, which makes sense to me because I don't believe it's skeletal. I just feel like I need an upper back massage constantly. She said that my body, in trying to supply blood to my lungs, could be working extra hard because of a circulation problem.

I told her about my newly-discovered Protein S Deficiency and that it means that I have a clotting issue in which I am TOO clotted. Ah! She says it all makes sense. She did tell me that in Chinese Medicine they don't look at the micro level (down to seeing the actual clots); they do more of a macroscopic view of the body.

So, I laid face down on the table. She stuck a bunch of needles everywhere. She'd touch and say, sensitive? And I'd say yes or no, and if yes she'd put it there. A lot of the places where she wound up putting the needles were in places having to do with some circulation issues. Also, she put needles in those areas that promote fertility.

She gave me a lot of Chinese herbs in little packets geared towards my cycle days. These are to support implantation she says.

I'm very pleased with my visits. I call her next at either (1) the onset of my next cycle or (2) a positive pregnancy test. I'm hoping for 2.

My PSD reading and self-treatment

2007-04-10T22:28:00.000-04:00

Being the over-achiever that I am, I've now gone through every page of the Protein S Deficiency - Pregnancy forum. Interesting stuff, and I've learned a lot.

Some of the women have given birth to still-born babies. What a terrible heartache. My husband and I never made it past 6 weeks and 4 days. In a way, we were spared the horrible heartache of a still-birth. That must be one of the worst heartaches imaginable.

I'm still waiting to get my appointment with the Perinatologist. When I spoke to them yesterday, they had received all of my medical records from my gynecologist, so THAT was a good sign.

In the meantime, and with ALL the reading I've done since finding out, I'm self-medicating myself with some anti-coagulants. I know, I know, don't anyone start yelling at me. This is what I'm doing: (1) Folic Acid increased to 5 mg. (2) Vitamin E increased to 830 mg. (3) Baby aspirin at 81mg. (4) One glass of red wine. All anti-coagulants.

Eighteen months and we have the two clinically-diagnosed pregnancies (although I suspect more). So, I feel the above regimen is warranted. Clearly, I have a problem. Anyway, the above seems to be the protocol of many of the women with my clotting disorder. So, I believe I'm fine with this as I wait on the appointment with the Perinatologist.

My husband wants me to be more assertive in getting the appointment. He told me tonight, "I don't want you to leave me, honey, and I'd be left here all alone." No, I don't expect to die soon.

Here's something else: Ever since I found out about my Protein S Deficiency, I'm more aware of this little throbbing vein on the side of my head. I guess I have clots running all through my body. Does anyone else feel that? Or is it just me?

Final note: These herbs the Traditional Chinese Medicine doctor gave me are rancid! I've tried plugging my nose and just chugging it, but this stuff is horrid!

Happy Easter

2007-04-08T23:06:00.000-04:00

Protein S Deficiency

2007-04-07T19:10:00.000-04:00

I've been reading up on this thing since I found out.

Only like 1 in every 20,000 people has it.

If left unattended, I would one day die of a stroke or pulmonary embolism (if something else didn't kill me). I talked to my mother about it, and I asked her about the relatives that we have that died of stroke. Yes, she said that if something else didn't kill them, they all died of stroke. I feel sad about it. I was thinking today that I just found out yesterday what was going to make me die someday. I was going to have a stroke. And NOW I'll still die someday, but now that I know about this, and I can get treatment for it, I don't have to die of a stroke anymore.

I found a support forum on the internet for women that have Protein S Deficiency and are pregnant/TTC. They control it with a drug called Lovenox (and possibly other stuff). So far, that's what I've learned. I also read that if you have a Protein S of less than 29 than it is nearly impossible for you to get and stay pregnant. I'm anxious to get to the Perinatologist to see about getting treatment. It took me 18 months to find something. And I found it. AND I've passed it on to my mother and she's going to pass it through the family. My whole family should get tested for this thing.

I was thinking.... This thing has been progressing as I've grown older. If I had gotten married younger and had children younger, I never would have known. Since I started trying to have children later, it brought me to find out about Protein S. I could have gone about my life not knowing about it and had a stroke one day, died, and left my young children behind. But now I'll treat it and I'll live a lot longer. Funny how things unfold. God had a plan.

Hopefully, that's it. All our other testing turned up normal. Looks like it was this thing all along that was keeping me infertile.

My first TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) appointment

2007-04-05T20:59:00.001-04:00

WOW.

I went to this lady: She looks nice, doesn't she?

Wow. She asked me a bunch of questions. She looked at my tongue. She asked if I have cold feet. My tongue is too pale. My cold feet indicate a circulation problem. She asked me if I crave hot drinks; I said that I recently quit coffee, but I find myself drinking tea because I like the hot beverage in the morning. She asked me what food do I crave; I said to be honest with you, I could go for a sausage and pepperoni pizza and a glass of red wine. She says that all this indicates that I need heat. Red wine gives heat, for example.

She asked me if I had charted and I told her what my temps were like, and she said that sounded fine. (Wow! First person to really care about my BBTs!) She asked about all my infertility testing. She asked about my cycles, what my flow is like, etc. She says I have a deficiency in one of my yangs.

For fertility she works with your cycle.

I'm on CD13 now, so she gave me little packets of herbs. I have a packet for CD13, CD14, CD15, nothing for CD16, then different packets for CD17, CD18, and CD19 (to support implantation and progesterone, she says).

I also told her about my shoulder that's been killing me. She did acupuncture. Both sides of my body. She'd feel and then say, does that feel sensitive? If yes, that's where she'd stick the needle. She did cupping.

You won't believe this, but my shoulder is no longer killing me.

I go again next Thursday. After that, I'll call her on CD1 (if I get my period) to go get a different set of herbs. Then I will do acupuncture after that on my next CD6, and I would get a different set of herbs. Then I would go back for more herbs and acupuncture just before my next ovulation (in order to support ovulation), and so on. See? She works with your cycle. I found the whole experience amazing. She says she's helped other patients with infertility.

Results of my Recurrent Miscarriage Panel

2007-04-05T20:54:00.000-04:00

Hi, everyone. You may recall that I asked my gynecologist to have me go in for the Recurrent Miscarriage Panel. (I've had 2 confirmed m/c in almost 18 months.) I got the results today.

I came out within the healthy range for everything except the following:

IgM anticardiolipin antibodies
I have a 14, which is at the "indeterminate" level. It should be 0-9.

Free Protein S
I have a 24, which is at the "low" level. It should be 56-124.

I was just reading on the internet about Protein S deficiency. I found this article Recurrent Miscarriage Syndrome and Infertility Due to Blood Coagulation Protein/Platelet Defects:

The article states that of 305 patients with such disorders, after treatment, only 2 of them had another miscarriage.

My entire infertility experience could have been because of this all along.